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So my setup rigjt now:
My long term goal is to move to pangolin as a reverse proxy on the vps and tailscale alternative and remove tailscale, as i find its very battery inefficient on Android (no subnet Router etc).
So i just give people access to the VPN and send them an authentik invite and thats it. With pangolin i dont even have to give them a VPN access anymore, it can be done via authentik i think.
A vps is 3-6€ and the tailscale standard is 10€ so its even cheaper, but a bit more setup to maintain. But it allows a ton of users :) so i guess this would be the smallest change with the highest impact
Authentik is nice to have but a pain to set up as the oicd stuff can be tricky. Immich was super ez, nextcloud was OK, docspell was a pain and ocis does not work with authentik becsuse they use different architectures for sso. (Ocis and authentik are a bit dumb here)
I have just recently started messing with Authentik. And I can confirm OIDC claims and whatnot are an absolute nightmare. I have some experience setting up SAML stuff from my work, but I only do that if our main guy is out and I always struggle with it there too.
Your setup sounds the most like what I am doing now, minus the DMZ. But all of my containers are rootless. I am running everything on TrueNAS right now.
I think I will lean more on Authentik, as the provisioning of users and giving them access to services through that is very easy. I will probably stick with Cloudflare for the time being, but I will look more into Pangolin.