this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2026
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I'm a cis male and I believe in the importance of feminism, but I hesitate to call myself a feminist because it seems like there is a presumption of understanding women's experiences as if I was part of the Me Too movement. In some binary sense given how hateful and shitty men can be I'm absolutely a feminist, but I wouldn't declare myself to be one. What is your standpoint?

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My opinion as another cis dude: there are three things at play. (1) What is the definition of "feminism?" If you believe that women and men and everybody in between and beyond are equally worthy members of society and should not be discriminated against in any way, then you fit my definition and can call yourself a feminist. (2) I recognize that this is a hot button issue for some people unfortunately. I also see that other people may operate under a different definition. I give shit to anybody with opinions on the matter that go against (1). I don't necessarily use the word "feminist" in that context because some words - good words! - have a way of closing people off like an oyster. "Woke" and "feminism" are two examples. Worthy concepts behind both in my view but the mere mention makes some people stop listening. Especially those who would benefit from widening their horizons. Humans are capable of rational thought but we don't always do or behave that way. I'm dogmatic in my opinion but I'm not dogmatic in the language that I use so I try and adjust it to fit the situation. (3) Even among supposed allies you'll find oddballs. You don't want to be a self-professed feminist who mansplains feminism, just as an example.

In this mixed minefield, I think I want to be judged more by my actions than the terms I use.