this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2026
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I'll do my best. I can vaguely remember some of the words that came out of my mouth when I was around 13-18 years old. Most of which were slurs rather than deep thoughts.
The slurs were more to do with what was typical/acceptable talk at the time (late 90s-early 2000s) in combination with teenage boys love nothing more than being assholes to each other (typically to my straight friends) because they think it's funny.
Some of my "deeper thoughts", for as well as a teenager can articulate, were to do with not understanding and frankly not actually trying to understand any other perspective. I believe I was simply trying to boost myself by stepping on others. I don't think there was ever a point in which I hated gay people, but I do remember saying how I thought it was disgusting (gay sexual acts)and I had opinions on gay couples raising children even though I had no evidence to support those opinions.
I don't think any of it ever scared me, none of what I said was out of fear. I was never worried about liking it, as some other comments suggested. Instead, It was an easy way to safely feel superior to cope with my lengthy list of insecurities.
As my brain began to mature, my thoughts quickly changed.
So... Immaturity, insecurity, ignorance.
Nowadays... regret. Sorry everyone.
You seem to be a similar age to me, so have a similar response to my own.
But to add to your answer; for me in my younger years, it was primarily the fear of being othered by my peers. Being gay was seen as the worst thing a man could be, ergo, being seen as gay by my peers would have been the worst thing. So I'd overcorrect with homophobia.
In our defence (my peers and I, I mean), we were also in the midst of the AIDS crisis, where the news would keep bringing us stories of how many gay men were dying because they were having sex with each other. That's legitimately scary when you're young, just beginning to understand what sex is, and that you like the idea of it.
But in the interim I've grown up and moved into a mental space where I'm less of a prick.
For the past couple of years I've marched in the two pride marches local to me as a fully paid up supported of the LGBTQ+ community, not least because these days I don't really consider myself to be straight anyway. I'm just a bloke-shaped person who likes to experience sex with other people, regardless of their junk.
I'm glad you grew out of it. Too many boys never do