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I'm impressed
This was the biggest woodworking project I've tackled yet.
I once sanded and (poorly) refinished a nightstand. In my defense, it was my first time and I don't think it was stain grade wood. It was always meant to be painted. That's as far as my skills go. Although, where I moved, inherited quite a few very nice wood working tools so, I might be learning once some of the house maintenance is under control!
Finishing is an entire discipline unto itself. The finish on the cabinet above: I took the surfaces to 180 grit with a random orbit sander, then sanded along the grain at 220 by hand, vacuuming and tack clothing between each grit. Popped the grain with water, sanded at 220 again, and a final tack clothing. No stain, and a polyurethane finish, first coat was 2 parts urethane to 1 part thinner, the remaining 3 coats are 50/50. Wiped on with a cotton rag, cut from an old T-shirt, rubbed out with a piece of paper grocery bag between each coat followed by a light tack clothing to remove the whisper of dust. Do that between each, but not after the last coat. The result is a durable shell coat that still has the texture of wood, you get the depth from wetting the surface but not a visibly thick layer of plastic.
Granted, I did start with $9/board foot black walnut that I hand selected from the lumber yard, not some random night stand. But, I'll assert there's no such thing as "stain grade" or "paint grade" wood. People take wormy maple and make stuff like this out of it:
I will grant you that some species of wood have open and uneven grain that will absorb stain at different rates across the surface, creating a hideous blotchy appearance, and wouldn't you know it most of those species are cheaper, easily available species that have bland and boring grain like pine and birch. Most "stains" look terrible on wood like that. My choice is to go with little to no stain, let the wood speak for itself, maybe subtly tint it with the top coat, or use shellac, either as a top coat or as an intermediate layer. If the wood you're working with is very prone to blotching, start with a coat or two of blonde shellac to fill up the pores, then switch to your darker garnet or whatever. Shellac is compatible with basically all finishes and is sometimes used as a compatibility layer between water and oil based finishes so you can top coat over it if you want something more durable than beetle poo.
Great info, thank you for taking the time to share!