Not The Onion

22670 readers

1082 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

573

US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit Was Sentenced for Throwing a Live Tarantula at Her Neighbour (www.fashiontimes.co.uk)

submitted 1 day ago by spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

84 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Independent Minnesota US Senate candidate Marisa Simonetti, 32, has been sentenced to three months in the Hennepin County workhouse after throwing a live tarantula onto the staircase leading to her tenant's living space in Edina. She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault and will serve her 90-day sentence on school and work release. The court also ordered her to serve two years of probation and submit a written apology to the victim.

Simonetti's sentence comes as she campaigns for a seat in the US Senate, hoping to replace Tina Smith in the November 2026 Minnesota election. Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child's mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] TootTootComingThru@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.

Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on that bullshit. There is zero chance of that being true.

[+] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml -12 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–] TootTootComingThru@lemmy.world 0 points 2 hours ago

There is zero chance a spider is as smart as even the most mediocre dog. Stop it.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I don't find tarantulas yucky and have had one as a pet.

They aren't smart. They aren't like dogs. You can't teach them anything. The most you can get out of them is that they will learn you're not gonna squish or eat them and be cool with you.

You can look this up "on the internet". They aren't even as smart as jumping spiders.

So yeah. He right on calling bullshit. Because it is bullshit.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Yeah, jumping spiders is where it's at when it comes to intelligence in spiders, and even then only in highly specific ways (i.e., hunting, and calculating jumps), and a significant portion of their apparent intelligence is just them having very good eyesight for a spider; dogs, cats, birds, rats, and even probably bees are still much more intelligent than them.

Tarantulas on the other hand aren't much smarter than your average politician or CEO.