this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.

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[–] njordomir@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I have not. That said, several of my friends have told me their stories, both recent and from years ago and I'm pretty pissed that so many garbage human beings are walking among us and hurting our friends, especially woman.

There was one guy, who hurt multiple of my friends and operates more on the coercive side (still assault). I was asked to ban him from some community events I was running because there had been a recent public incident of concerning behavior. After investigating, I did ban him and eventually made it a perma-ban after having around a dozen women, many who didn't know each other, reach out to me to let me know they had uncomfortable or worse experiences with him. Some sounded clearly like pressure/coercion for sex, some just remembered being creeped out or setting a boundary only to have him cross it. A lot of the other guys got mad at me for banning him. They said I didn't have enough evidence or that I wasn't being fair. I had heard more than enough, but I couldn't share all of it because some of the women didn't want to be on-the-record because of domestic violence concerns or because the harassment that they experienced had happened in the past and they were worried speaking up might fan the flames. Some people said it was actually entirely the woman's fault but they were speculating from the outside in. They didn't have any of the information I had, they just fell for a charismatic smile from a friendly guy with a lot of hobbies. The guy himself also gave me a lot of grief and tried to undermine me and my standing in the community for daring to rain on his SA parade. A few years later he caught some CP charges and other nasty shit. Up until that point, I only knew of victims of his that were adults. I'm guessing the only reason he didn't get tried on statutory rape was he plead to the other charges and the most recent victim didn't want to face him in court so the prosecutor took his plea. I hope everyone who was upset at me for banning him sees his mugshot on the registry and learns that just because we can't imprison someone without a conviction, doesn't mean we have to invite them to our parties. Scumbags walk among us each and every day.