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I am sorry to say that there is no logic behind suicide.
Logically speaking - that is, without emotions - death is not inherently better than life. There is no logical value added by death. You don't need to choose to live, it just happens on its own. Trust me, it's surprisingly hard to just wither away. The body doesn't want to stop.
You would need to choose to die. If it is not inherently better to die than to live, then it is illogical to choose to do something that you do not have any reason to do.
It is only emotion that changes the equation. Emotionally speaking, it sounds like you currently feel that death would be better than life.
But it does not sound like you wanted to die before this year. At least, not nearly like this. If you did not feel this way before, than there is no logical reason to think you will always feel this way later.
It is therefore only temporary, it is only emotional, and it is exclusively a mental health issue that can be resolved with time and effort.