Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
8) No Bots.
Posts or comments from bots, LLM's, AIs, Neural Networks, Transformers, or Marvin the Paranoid Android are not welcome in AskLemmy. Real humans only please.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Maybe the ambition should be to be loved?
I find that if you're just a person who does good things even when no one is watching (and without telling people about it), people and animals are naturally drawn to you
Be the person who holds doors for everyone. Stop to help people until it becomes natural. Ask the cashier how their day is going. Go to the shelter and cheer up some animals
I resonate with this, but it does imply "pay it forward"-esque mechanics for longevity. I live by this, but there is a burnout that sets in when you do for so many but few do for you. I know it shouldn't be an equal exchange, but there is only so much energy one can give to others, and it's hard to multiply what little kindness you receive, sometimes. For me, the question is "how can I replenish that energy to continue to be the good person I want to be?"
I disagree, it really just gets easier the more you do it without expecting anything in return. If you feed on gratitude or reciprocation, that's your reward. If you don't, but rather do it purely because that's the kind of person you want to be, it becomes as natural as breathing. You don't think about it anymore
I think there's a really easy answer... You give what you have to give, and just a little bit more. Like exercise. You push yourself but don't run yourself ragged, you rest and recover. When you have the energy you seek out opportunities to use it, when you don't you conserve your energy to recover, but still make an effort to do the little things
I find that that's when other people tend to show concern and try to help me in turn, although if you expect it you're probably going to be disappointed
All that doesn't just make you a good person, it also makes you a genuine one
also if someone refuses help, dont take it personally. and just listen. or move on.
Like there are rescuers out there with no boundaries that do not hesitate make it all a mission about them being a nice person and their intentions. This is not empowering for the boundaries of the people they are attempting to 'help'.
listening can be love too.
This is true. It's not really helping someone else if you don't respect their boundaries
And some people will be super rude about it, and you just have to move on and put yourself out there again with the next person anyways
yeah i just remind myself maybe the rudeness is a defence mechanism. Not meant for specifically me. Possibly the only way they can feel they will be listened to or defended. There are people out there who just will not respect that 'no' that very much have a hand in manufacturing this as a normalized response.