this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2026
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I once sponsored the bail for a person of Polish descent I know (via a bondsman). The bondsman left me a voicemail to say, in nicer terms, the person had better show up in court or else.
The voicemail opened with "hi, I'm calling for ... Oh, I'm going to mess this up ... "
His business card titled him "The Butcher" so I'm disappointed he didn't say "oh, I'm going to butcher this."
going out on a limb here, are you certain he was a bondsman and not a serial killer?
I asked him about that while I was filling out the paperwork. He said that his coworkers chose it for him because, in a previous career, he was literally a butcher who butchered animals.
Being a literal animal butcher could still be a nice cover for a hitman too.
You're not wrong.