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If beans are making your stomach hurt you probably aren't cooking them right. If you're getting them from a can you have to rinse them very well to wash off all the garbage that they pack them with, but after that they're good to eat right away.
The best and cheapest option is to buy them dry. About 1/2 cup of dried beans is equivalent to one 16 oz can. You have to either soak them overnight or quick soak them (boil for 5 minutes with some salt, then let sit for 1 hour), rinse, then cook for at least an hour, until they are soft.
You might also be having problems because you don't have enough fiber in your regular diet, so the extra fiber might be a shock to your system. After about a month of consistently eating more fiber you shouldn't experience that any longer.
They give me gas. And that is painful. Like, can't fall asleep painful.
That's probably because youre not used to the fiber. If you eat a small amount every day or every other day your body should adapt to it, then you can eat more and more of it without pain.
You can start by adding just a tablespoon or less of hydrated beans to your omelette.
a pinch of baking soda added to the water rehydrating dry beans, then rinsing the soaked beans in fresh water, should eliminate the gassy effect.