this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2026
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Lord of the memes
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Oh, fuck.
Now my brain's wondering how many times Sam snuck off for a wank while Frodo was asleep.
Then Golem comes along, basically blue balling him. No wonder the frustration.
It wasn't the ring that started to test them the closer they got to Mordor. It was blue balls. But it was Sam's determination to finally have a wank in privacy that saved Middle Earth.
Why, brain? Why you do this?
Edit: OMG! He got post-nut clarity after Cirith Ungol! He reappears and suddenly he's so focused he can defeat Shelob.
I take it back! Good brain! I like Sam even more now and I can't wait to ruin Return of the King for my friends.
Amazing that people are still coming up with new and unique fan theories more than 70 years after it released