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I would push back on using Nextcloud for contacts and calendars, as I think that is Nextcloud trying to do to much and failing. I use Baïkal as that is its only focus.
Admittedly, Nexcloud does try to be the everything app, and for several of those things, it naturally loses out to more specialised applications (e.g. photos vs. immich). Contacts and calendars, however, are such a no-brainers (particularly when run through card/calDAV, not the web apps) that I don't see why I'd set up yet another service just for that.
Feel free to sell Baikal to me a little more, though! ;)
I admittly have not been able to shake the Apple out of my LAN fully yet. And I was having difficulties with my iphone, ipad, and linux devices syncing with Nextcloud. That was when it was hosted elsewhere. So I I stopped trying that as I was still whenning myself off of icloud, I later tried selfhosting Nextcloud and same problem plus it was not syncing contacts. I was almost ready to throw in the towel and call Nextcloud useless and started just using smb and fiddled with syncthing I recently went onto my Nextcloud webui to find my halloween counter and decided I may still use it as a file server, syncthing may still be running somewhere on my LAN no idea! lol
I needed something to sync my calendars so I went searching, I remember checking out a few things (some of which may still be running on my homelab but Baikal is what I use) and Baikal won out just because it was dumb simple and only did calendars and contacts it did not try to do more, the moment it tries to do more I will be looking for a new service.
It could also be that I use caddy with https and my devices did not like using nextcloud with https for calendars and contacts, but Baikal works fine with the https. I get the ssl certificate from my web host, easydns hosts my VNC and email.
Fun side note: I originally was going to host my blog out of my place but decided to use a VPS instead, I had already moved my domain name and email to easydns so I got a VPS instead.
Apple does this on purpose to keep you stuck in their walled garden. iCloud is so deeply integrated into the OS that it's damn near impossible to use anything else.
Baikal does the calendar and contacts great.