this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2026
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Fairly tame but also recentish... I was very clearly a strawman for her ex. Now, I know that sometimes when my sense of humor doesn't mesh with someone else, it's grating. That's fine but I know this about me, and I was honestly dialing it way back. An amusing anecdote here, a witty quip there. History shows this vanilla formula works and is well received by both potential romantic partners and coworkers alike.
But she was just uggggggghhhh. "Why are guys like this, I'm trying to make a real connection and you are telling jokes?!"
My sister in Zeus, I don't even know what color your butthole is and you are already on stage 4 of decoupling. How. If you want to work through the crazy in the bedroom I am so fucking down but I haven't even gotten through my second drink yet.
The best part is that we are neighbors. It was one of the first matches I had in my new place and she was like six doors down. So I still see her in passing fairly frequently and we like awkwardly wave or nod or sometimes pretend not to notice each other. Somehow I feel like there's another chapter to write, and I would absolutely still go nine innings with her if she wanted (and my wife was cool with it) but I have never played therapy date like that before.
This is very similar to several experiences of mine that finally lead to the understanding that, hey, I enjoy getting drunk, stoned, and playing video games with my cat way more than dating and that’s not a bad thing, also that most people in general are boring, can’t put their gods damned phone down and be in the moment for two seconds (not a generational thing, by the way) and are really bad at sex. (also not a generational thing.)
Edit: Also, general PSA, for fuck’s sake, get over your ex before you put yourself on the dating scene. A new relationship will not get rid of your sad feelings, you gotta chew through that shit first.