this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2026
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Comments like this make me giggle because having sex doesn't impact your views on coercion and power dynamics. And also I wasn't talking about sex. The topic is marriage.
Like sure, maybe a 30 and 50 year old have enough in common to really get along. But it's also just as likely, if not more likely, that societal expectations and familial pressure push young women into marrying older men for stability reasons, not because they love them or are attracted to them.
I'm in my late 40s now, and I can tell you that the people I know who are 30 seem SO young. We have so few shared experiences. They never even heard of the Rugrats. How am I supposed to marry that...
Familial pressure? These Filipino women are on the other side of the planet from their families, marrying men their people often haven't met. You're making assumptions based on your own experiences in your own culture. Helps a lot to experience it IRL. No one has been suckered or pushed into these marriages, it's just normal to them. Someone always comes along and says they're gold diggers. FWIW, I have yet to see that. All of the women work and make good money. A few I know are well off on their own while their husbands are retired.
Broadly speaking, Asians have a whole different view of age, sex and marriage. There is nothing abnormal about a very young woman marrying an aging man. Makes me wonder how the young guys ever get laid! Not being funny, I honestly wonder. My wife is almost ashamed to be 6-months older than I. I can't even joke about it, that bad. (Though she looks 20 years younger.)
Funny enough, she has one Filipino friend that looks to be in her 20's, is actually in her 40s and her husband is in his 30s. Strange world.