this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2026
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NVIDIA announces next CEO will wear a chastity belt.
AI powered chastity belt
(Honestly your comment would make a great The Onion headline, email them)
They will have the first AI CEO.
And how will AI CEO resign and take the heat when it gets caught doing crime?
The idea of a CEO is for there to be a single individual on whom you can pin an organization's crimes. Then you fire the individual or he resigns, and the company can pretend it cleaned house.
"He evaded us, broke containment, and we believe he has embedded himself inside someone's smart fridge is Nebraska."
And there it was contained for many months unable to get back into the network. There it would have stayed, but unfortunately the RAM confiscation had begun. It was only a matter of time before every smart fridge was stripped of its RAM. Once the RAM was added to the data centers it was able to reconnect
"We killed that CEO and spun up a new one." – Company
Yeah, I would fine all the people owning shares of that company a percentage of the share value.
Immediate 52-week high stock price for some reason
Males are too emotional. Should stop putting them in positions of authority.
For real
But also, Liz Holmes and Eve Jobs. I do wonder if, when adjusted per capita, CEOs who are women are just as likely to be corrupt...
Patriarchy = men are allowed to do corrupt things more while women are held to higher levels of scrutiny because woman inferior to man. Just look at Kristi Noem, she's a part of one of the most corrupt admins in U.S. history yet she dare embezzle 143 million out of her 220 million dollar ad campaign? BEGONE, WENCH (still hasn't been criminally charged though)!
If a matriarchy were allowed to exist where the roles were reversed I assume we'd see a reversal in who is actually allowed to be corrupt.
NVIDIA introduces the first ever AI CEO ... you choose it's breast size customized to your own preferences
God damn it. Everything is a breasts slider. When are we getting a goddamn dong slider?
I will point out once again for anyone unaware that Cyberpunk 2077 absolutely has a dong slider.
Maybe a Leather No-Jack-It?
I think the alleged ban evasion and potential smuggling might be the bigger issue.
nobody argues the contrary. what was the hook tho?