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How to get over it and move on without being numbed out? (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by canadianchik@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

so I decided to no longer speak to my ex because we were actually very close still even after breaking up but he was giving me less attention and wasn’t there anymore. Wouldn’t properly listen to me and stuff and it made me feel belittled. We stopped talking 5 days ago but it ended kind of petty way so I messaged him a long message yesterday being thankful and stating why and when I got hurt and that I am proud of him for other things. He did the same. He did mention that he’s more appreciative of me after not talking for a bit and he see’s how much I care and he’s embarrassed by the way he had acted and all of those things. He regrets not calling me his “girlfriend” and all of that. But now we are done since we haven’t texted since the closure. He knows how much I tried to make things work and he said he felt like an idiot for not seeing that blah blah.

I am getting over it but I think what hurts most about this closure is that he states all of these things but then again if he wanted to make things work or regrets anything in any way, why not try? Or try before? U know? He holds such a big amount on my heart and it breaks me so much to see all my effort gone to waste and someone never fighting for me. I just want someone to fight for me and want me regardless. If you want something, you do everything you can to take it. He just wasn’t emotionally mature and it sucks.

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[–] temporal_spider@lemm.ee 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I feel like a certain amount of numb might be the best thing for you right now. The relationship is over. He is not going to give you what you want, but you keep trying to draw him back in. You're keeping your own wounds open. The fact that he's not emotionally healthy enough to cut you off doesn't make your behavior any healthier.

You said you want someone to "fight for you." What does that mean? Fight who? You're not a princess locked in a storybook castle, are you? Real life isn't a fairytale. It's not a movie. Real love isn't about drama. It's about just normal caring. Until you can rescue your own mind from the bullshit Hollywood has fed you, you will have a very hard time being part of a genuinely loving relationship.

Cut this dude loose. Look after yourself. Let your princess out of her tower, so she can live in the real world.

[–] canadianchik@lemm.ee 0 points 1 day ago

I know. The urge to text just upsets me. Like I got drunk today and all I want to do is cry in his arms because of how much pain I’m in. I want to be okay. I want me and him to be okay. I wish things were different but I know this is real life and I need to carry on. And I know I’m not a princess waiting for my savior but all I wanted in life was someone to want me and put in the effort. I never felt that growing up. The only times was from me and my ex in the years but I’m always just saddened by it.