Ask Lemmy

My dad is so, so smart in so many ways. Unfortunately, he’s completely incapable of some forms of introspection (thankfully not all). He believes that he’s even smarter than he is, and rejects anything that doesn’t fit his worldview.

I do understand him a lot more as time goes on, because my siblings and I have learned that our whole family is autistic and our parents were just dealing with that their whole lives. They did a great job with us, specifically in regard to us being autistic.

For example, my dad would warn me before he sharpened our knives, so that I could get at least two blocks away before he started, and they never cared if we wore clothes inside out to avoid tags, as long as they were otherwise neat. They educated us early about nutrition, so we could choose what we wanted to eat ourselves, but it had to be balanced. They most importantly explained that things don’t always make sense, but that sometimes people have an emotional connection to them or for seniority or similar reasons don’t want to hear us say that it doesn’t make sense.

Most effective for me specifically: my dad explained two things to me in exactly the right way for me to act in the way that was most helpful for me. He told me that I might be smarter than any given cop, but I’m not smarter than all of them together if I were to commit a big crime, and that if I kept stealing petty shit, I’d eventually get locked out of jobs where I might have been able to embezzle a lot more money. I stopped stealing and did eventually get a job where I could have embezzled a lot of money, but by that time I was better at thinking through consequences and no longer wanted to. I don’t know if that advice would work for everyone and frankly it seems like irresponsible advice to give a kid, but it absolutely helped me.

Autism aside, they were also both completely correct about how important caring for your teeth is.