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Pursue a career in culinary, burn myself out in commercial kitchens, then become a home cook and cook for family and friends holding BBQ and potluck block parties every week.
I realize during covid that I wasnt feeling fulfilled with my office job, and did odd jobs in between. One of it was helping a mutual friend's small eatery as a cook. And felt fulfilled in he short 3 months I worked there before they were forced to shut down because of continuing lock down and a flood, than the up to that point 7 years of office work.
I don't have savings to just cut off not working, took too many debt and got scammed out of a simple fraud credit card spending scam call. And my mental health was spiraling down to suicide ideation. Silver lining at that office was that we were contracted with a hospital to set up a mental health triage system so I got help from there. Bad thing was 2 years ago that team just left the company wholesale and even advised me not to go anywhere. Now I feel trapped that the meager amounts of searching for other work, not knowing how to whore myself out to companies for better pay because idk what the fuck I've done to whore out, just to fight inflation as the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
I'm a gullible motherfucker 🥹