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My wife sleep divorced me. LOL.
2 AM, she shoves me awake. She's sitting on the edge of the bed like the chick from Paranormal Activity.
She pulls her wedding ring off, jams it in my hand, says "THIS IS FOR YOU! We need to make OTHER ARRANGEMENTS! I can't believe you said THAT in front of our son!!!"
Then she lays back down and is dead asleep.
I'm like "WTAF?" Do I wake her up? Do I sleep with a knife under the pillow?
So I wake her up. She's pissed, but not "Imma divorce you" pissed, just "It's 2 AM why are you waking me up?" pissed.
"Do you know what you just did?"
"Wait, what? Why?"
So I hand her the wedding ring back.
"Oh... OH!"
Apparently, in the dream, I had been laying on the couch and she asked me to do something and I responded something along the lines of "Meh, I'd rather be boning Faye."
Faye. A fictional character from the web comic "Questionable Content" which we both read.
https://questionablecontent.fandom.com/wiki/Faye_Whitaker
But now it's hilarious, because when she asks me to do something I can go "Meh, I'd rather be boning Faye."
In her defense if you'd rather be porking that ball of anxiety who causes every man in her orbit to experience full on ego collapse than your wife, she has every right to divorce you. And Jeph can pay her legal fees, god knows he has the patreon money for it