Not The Onion

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White House Wants Big Balls to Get Same Medal as Rosa Parks (www.thedailybeast.com)

submitted 23 hours ago by AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

45 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/43965177

An ex-DOGE staffer known as “Big Balls” could end up receiving the highest civilian honor in the United States, placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa.

Somehow the dumbest timeline just upped the ante

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 163 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

This timeline is so fucking stupid I have difficulty believing it sometimes

[–] paper_moon@lemmy.world 59 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (3 children)

If we do live in a simulation, can I be taken out by a corrupt memory allocation, please?

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 19 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Earth.exe is causing excessive crashes, please save your work and restart.

[–] scintilla@crust.piefed.social 7 points 19 hours ago

I knew it was somehow windows fault. We should obviously be running Debian.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 10 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

I'd like to load a backup save please

[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Sometimes I like to imagine that we are in a reincarnation simulation and by the laws of quantum mechanics even if I was reborn exactly the same to relive this life again or even if the universe was started over, it would be completely different even if all variables where exactly the same. It gives me a strange hope.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Best we can do is unplug it.
Then plug it back in again.

[–] limer@lemmy.ml 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Plug.exe is not working. Check for a working internet connection

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

internet connection not found. please reinstall aol
internet connection not found. please reinstall aol

[–] Mossheart@lemmy.ca 5 points 20 hours ago

Sorry, this is a hardcore run. No save scumming.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Hmm, well when is the last time you tested those backups to ensure they aren't corrupt?

[–] Tower@lemmy.zip 3 points 17 hours ago

COSMIC BIT FLIP 2028!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

well someone crapped my pants i would like a reinstall please

[–] StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world 9 points 18 hours ago

It's just them feeding the constant news cycle with bullshit and nonsense. I say JUST but...idk I'm getting to the point where the psy-op has worked and I don't want to pay attention to the news anymore. I might make myself a old RSS style feed for like Reuters or something but getting my news from social media has been nothing but devastating. It's gotta be somewhat intentional. Not that it's not happening, but that it's always some new stupid thing that is just the right amount of outrageous that it diluted the important stuff. I don't care about some kid called big balls. That's just a symptom. The keys they jingle to keep it so the doctor with the needle is half-forgotten. Maybe they won but at least I'll be happier.

I kinda get why the guy at the end of 1984 didn't give a shit anymore by the end.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Fascists were killed to fucking death 80 years ago. And I'll remind us all, the men who fought were around 20 then. The youngest would be 100 now.

The Smoot-Hawley Act was 95 years ago, exacerbated the Great Depression. Not to mention the stock market greed and lack of government controls that started it. Today no one remembers what that kind of poverty was like in America.

Everyone who remembers is dead. This is simply history, we do this again and again. Our turn!