this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes, you should very much talk about whether stuff like this is okay to do to someone else before you do it. You can't consent when you sleep, so you must get full consent beforehand.

And yes, you should typically ask whether doing something is okay before you do it, in general. Communication is good, it won't hurt anyone.

And no, it isn't safe to just assume anything. Ask! That's really all there is to it. Ask and accept a "no". Ideally you also check in a few times underway. It leads to better sex.

My mindset comes from the kink community, where generally most things are permissable, but so long as consent stays in front and centre. Unless you have agreed beforehand to treat it otherwise, stuff like a "giggly no" is a no. Well, specifically you'd have safe words such as "red", but I assume that's not the case here.

In short though, don't just assume anything of the other person, ask them, and allow them to talk.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 5 points 1 day ago

stuff like a "giggly no" is a no.

Thank you for explicitly bringing this up.