this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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[–] aramis87@fedia.io 6 points 1 day ago

If two people are not actually explicitly communicating, then both of them are making assumptions. I've slept over at other people's places because I've stayed late and the last bus/train has already left, because I've suddenly felt really tired and didn't want to bother/didn't feel safe to drive, because it was closer to work the next day, and, yes, because we fell asleep after sex. And absolutely none of that was consent for someone to start having sex with me while I was sleeping. Which is why communicating with your partners is important.

Just because you like being woken up by sexy times doesn't mean everyone enjoys it. As an example, someone who has been previously been raped or attempted raped might not appreciate it - which happens to be one out of every four woman in the United States.

And the 12% of all women in the US who were raped by an "intimate partner" will likely particularly not appreciate it.

It's also likely that some of the 81% of US women who have suffered sexual harassment might have some problem with it. So, y'know, maybe you should start explicitly asking before having sex with someone, even if you did have sex earlier that night.