Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I wouldn't say it was unusual to have fewer friends as you age. Plenty of people seem happy spending time by themselves or with their partner.
That said, I've noticed in my 30s that some friends who've coupled up (some with new families tbf), are pulling out of more social plans or generally seeming less interested in hanging out. I think they are making a mistake there: friends are way easier to make in your 20s/30s and you need to tend to friendships to keep them alive.
I am in your friends position… between a rough pregnancy and being overwhelmed with being a new parent, I dropped off the social radar for almost two full years. Reconnecting was a bit weird, but totally doable.
I wouldn't worry about it too much if you just haven't seen people for a while. I've got friends I see <1 time a year but we pick up where we left off.
I was maybe grumbling on the downlow there about a couple who have become quite flaky and keep cancelling on my partner and I at the last minute. Try to avoid doing that too often!
As you get less time you quickly learn to stop inviting people like that, as it’s not worth your time chasing them. If they want to see you they will reach out and make the effort. If they don’t then you have your answer.
Same here, we have twins and it has taken every ounce of energy to keep everything going.
A lot of friendships have suffered over the last 2 years. I am slowly trying to get back to people and catch up. It's fine with most, but i fear some may have just moved on.
Yeah it’s completely normal, especially because most people this age have multiple kids that take up most of their free time. People move, change jobs, die, etc and also just don’t have the time to maintain many friendships. It’s normal.
According to most studies the majority of adults have between 1-4 close friends. If you don’t make friends with workmates, even if they’re just “workday friends”, you’ve basically got a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to develop and maintain friendships, and it’s hard when everyone has commitments.