this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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I'm 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don't live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an "In case of emergency" contact form.

Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don't really feel a desire to improve a billionaire's bank statement with my hard work.

It feels like I'm just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can't be the only one. Heck some of y'all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.

How do y'all do it?

(No this isn't an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don't have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)

EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.

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[โ€“] Vanth@reddthat.com 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm going to skip over the "find a hobby that gets you outside the house" because I assume you will have thought of this and/or others will elaborate in the comments.

So my attempt at novel advice is not to sleep on online relationships. If your rural community is too small to support a group in your niche interest, find a group online. Be active in the group, asking and contributing, joining and volunteering. You may find it's still 100:1 people you interact with to people you form any sort of lasting relationship with, but that's not really any different than IRL.

One of my sister's longest lasting friendships is with someone she met playing an online Horse Girl^TM game in the 00s. The game has been defunct for a decade, but they stayed friends. They only met in person for the first time when the friend was getting married. You never know when our weirdness vibes with someone else's weird; it's a beautiful thing. She values that online-origin friendship just as much as any IRL-origin friendship.

[โ€“] lemmy_acct_id_8647@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This is the best advice I've read so far. Not to diminish others comments as I truly appreciate the time taken on each and every one, but yeah, find a hobby group is like adult loneliness 101