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144

Middle Aged Folks with no social group: How do you do it? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by lemmy_acct_id_8647@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don't live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an "In case of emergency" contact form.

Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don't really feel a desire to improve a billionaire's bank statement with my hard work.

It feels like I'm just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can't be the only one. Heck some of y'all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.

How do y'all do it?

(No this isn't an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don't have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)

EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.

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[–] KingDingbat@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

My husband and I (M), in our mid 40s, feel the same. We used to have tons of friends in our 20s and 30s but they've all gone everywhichway and we can't seem to make any new friendships stick. They all die on the vine at good acquaintance. It's not for lack of trying. And WE live in a city! Anyway, all this to say: it's not just you. I think society has changed its social bonding. I suspect we have shifted dramatically during the pandemic and outer relationships aren't an interest to general society anymore. We put in our effort and have good social interactions with others but we seem to be the only ones trying. I don't know how this will help, except: you're not alone? 💜