The president's limo will be there on the front lawn, up on blocks with it's wheels and hood missing. A few barrels will be interspresed with fire for warmpth.

Trump will be seated on a beaten up old lawn chair, the kind that your parents had in the 70s and never got around to replacing. To his right there's a styrofoam cooler; the kind you get at a gas station when your heading out fishing with your pa. It's filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Melania will put her hair up in a Peggy Bundy beehive and squeeze her aging ass into pair of daisy dukes and cowboy boots.

Joe Rogan appears and kneels before Trump before the match begins. But instead of kissing a ring, it's a beer tab.

The festivities begin with Kid Rock catterwalling out what he thinks is the national anthem, but is actually just a bunch of random lyrics he put together during the last time he blacked out.

Dean Cain is the "celebrity" referee for the match and Kevin Sorbo is there to provide some colour commentary alongside Rogan.

Due to the unpopularity of all of them, no one wants to volunteer to be the people in the match, so it eventually Trump sends ICE out to round up some homeless people and it quickly devolves into bumfights_dot_com

It'll be great!