this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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Gross, my fridge got hit with ransomware again and now all the food inside is encrypted. Time to see if my canned backups are any good.
...Where did I put those backups?
Wait a second... you're into something here. What if a fridge could lock and unlock sections by Face ID? It could make sure my kids aren't drinking my beer! Or eating my lunch for tomorrow. Or half a birthday cake. What if I could require my kids to grab an apple with a soda?
That would be kinda neat if I had money I couldn't think of a better use for.
Could've just said "eating my lunch", it's obviously a beer and half of a birthday cake.
Someone hacked my fridge and gave it a virus. I ate the food and got gastroenteritis.
The food encryption was unnecessary, I already got DDOS'd when my wife and kids got there first and ate all the cake Before I got home from work.
The FBI called to help, maybe they can sort things out for you too. Thought they'd be busy with other stuff right now but I guess they need these Apple gift cards to upgrade my security...