Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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view the rest of the comments
Web push for notifications. Sure, there's privacy implications, but it's already near universal. There's other options like ntfy.sh if you're not limited to existing infrastructure. UnifiedPush also works well as a protocol for push notifications.
Everything else can be handled in-app. Password reset will have to be done by an admin, though it's completely doable for a small selfhosted service.
Some of the downsides OP listed may or may not always apply, but there are always downsides. Either you have to set up your own email server (with extra maintenance burden), or your "selfhosted" app suddenly relies on third party infrastructure, like your email provider (or those of other users on your instance).