this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2025
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ADHD
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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
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- Do not request for donations.
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- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
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Teaching self-acceptance is generally fine, but I feel like in this case, this is a cop-out and the person isn't able to provide the help and support you require.
I've run into this issue myself with my adult autism diagnosis - providers refused to provide a diagnosis or provide me a pathway to receive an evaluation from somebody qualified to do so. Even when I needed accommodations for college, they just sat silent, refused to address my concerns, and quickly changed subjects.
Turns out I do have autism, and they were just barriers to me accessing diagnosis and all the benefits that come with it. I likely have ADHD as well, but none of these providers gave a shit. They just focused on my anxiety and tried to reason me out of my state, focused on having me changing my behaviors and reactions (mask even harder), gaslit me into accepting that I'm causing people to traumatize me and letting myself be traumatized, and so forth. I was already high-masking, but I desperately needed supports and they had nothing to offer. They acted as if my high-masking appearance was my baseline and the anxiety was the inhibitor - which cause me an immense amount of harm. They also refused to address my significant trauma history and PTSD.
Find someone else who is qualified in ADHD and don't get fucked around like I did.
I understand. I was once refused a diagnosis of pneumonia because "people don't breathe like that with pneumonia." It turned out that I had pneumonia, and I spent a month in the hospital
Yeah, it's pretty crazy what can happen.
Related, as a young child, I had very severe breathing problems - but no wheezing. Turns out I have an atypical presentation of asthma (like cough-variant asthma or silent asthma) and I was nearly dying for over a year before the doctor referred me to an asthma and allergy specialist and admitted they couldn't help me to my parents.
I get it, going through all that education, training, and practice is worthy of recognition, but the best doctor knows their limits and passes you along to someone who is equipped and specialized.
I think that it's great that you posted here and I hope things get better for you!