this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 18 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Ah, the classic generalization of men and women as singular groups where everyone acts as one.

There are certain shitty men who objectify women and play alphas. There is the general category of men who get shitted at because of it, whether they belong to the former or not.

Sure, being afraid of the shitty folks is a valid reason to be cautious around everyone, as you can't easily tell one from the other. But saying that all men just made this stuff up while being total asses wouldn't be fair or helpful.

To be clear: there is a male loneliness epidemic driven by ever increasing caution about men overall. Men are often unfairly denied attention they need because they are seen as potential dangers by women and might be ridiculed for speaking out about their feelings by men (which, in turn, do it to protect themselves from the same treatment in an unhealthy patriarchal culture).

This is not healthy; moreover, being in that state of loneliness and frustration is prone to radicalizing people, making sayings about dangerous men a self-fulfilling prophecy in one case, and just causing a lot of misery in the other.

If you're a woman, I'd suggest giving a bit of attention to the men around you. There is a million of untold stories there, and making someone open up to you for the first time is a great and rewarding experience. Or just...be there, and that will be appreciated.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My wife sometimes stops to compliment me because she knows men don't often receive compliments. I always appreciate that.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

That's how you know she should be your wife :)

But really, this should be more normalized. I've heard the opinion that many men see compliments as a way to show sympathy when that wasn't intended, but I think this is exactly because it's so rare.

My girlfriend also takes time to compliment me, and I appreciate it.

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