this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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Not The Onion

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It's in Not the Onion because Hegseth has a history of leaking information because of his alcohol problem

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_government_group_chat_leaks

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[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 days ago

miley cyrus launches joint task force to track down the real identity of hannah montana

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Source: Kegseth accidentally texted me about the change

[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

If you weren't doing so much stupid, illegal shit, then you wouldn't have to worry about leaks.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

The call is coming from inside the house.

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 3 points 6 days ago
[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

Final report recommendation: Keep your phone at home when your blitzed, Kegsbreath...

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Is he going to surrender to them too?

[–] Angular@crazypeople.online 78 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"We'll stop at nothing to find him" the man says, standing in front of his own wanted poster.

[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

"We're all trying to find the guy who did this." 🌭

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] gedfromgont@piefed.ca 9 points 1 week ago

God damnit this sketch gets posted so many times these days. And it fits every time.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I love this sketchy. It is comedy gold

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A lot of jokes itt, but this is more fascism.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Making fun of fascists can often be just as satisfying as punching them. Both is best, of course...but one or the other will also do.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

“We’re gonna be so good on OpSec from now on.”

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

It's the whisky

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago

The leak is coming from inside the building.

He's... He's in the room.

My God, who is this sonofabitch?!

[–] DrakeAlbrecht@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

"The leaks are coming from inside the SecDef's office!"

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do I look like I know what a jay-peg is?

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago

Most transparent administration in US history, folks. /s

[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

This is what happens when you and everyone around you is incompetent.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn't this like the first step in the establishment of fascism

Have your general squash or dissenters in the ranks.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Pretty much

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 9 points 1 week ago

anti-whistleblower, anti-snitching task force.

[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Shtrike forsh!

[–] Insekticus@aussie.zone 7 points 1 week ago

Paying someone to hold his phone when he's been drinking, so it's a full-time position.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

If it's anything like other Hegseth strike forces, he will pay those informants handsomely, do nothing to them, and learn nothing.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Meanwhile pausing CMMC. Again.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

Eh, CMMC is a mess, it needs paused so the government can figure their shit out

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

This is a bit like when I pretend I didn’t fart and it’s just me in the elevator alone.

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Joint Strike force is Joint because he needs supervision

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Oh, good. That means the endeavor is as good as lost. If they WERE making any progress, it's done now.

[–] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

His office then proceeded to send out an urgent memo with the title written in all caps comic sans "TAKE US SERIOUSLY, IT IS MADATORY"

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world -4 points 1 week ago