this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Not The Onion

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The Onion is truly redundant

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[–] maub@feddit.org 2 points 41 minutes ago

The small dick energy is palpable.

[–] manxu@piefed.social 16 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I am just waiting for the day we find out there is a new Penile Length& Girth Requirement so that Secretary Hegseth finally gets the military he wants and deserves.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

And soldiers will be required to run into battle pants-less. Sporting their hard, raging boners, to strike fear and despair into the enemy just from the sight of the pure, throbbing manliness

[–] manxu@piefed.social 5 points 13 hours ago

Giving the term, "slippery slope" a whole new, semen-inspired meaning!

[–] eyes@lemmy.world 23 points 19 hours ago

What he thinks he's building: a supersoldier program. What he's building: a gender affirming care program.

[–] shiftymccool@piefed.ca 40 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

JFC that guy is a caricature of a comic book villain

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 18 points 22 hours ago

Comic book villains usually have more intelligence and self awareness.

[–] dan1101@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago

He would be in some comic against a third-tier hero. Like Fingernail Man or something like that.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 44 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

So now he's in favour of HRT?

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 17 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Only for manly men. And if you call it something else.

[–] Stinkywizzleteats@piefed.social 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

yeah it's really starting to get homoerotic. next thing you know they will be forcing cute haircuts and outfits on... oh my god!

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 3 points 6 hours ago

Man if they could just accept themselves whether that's gay, straight, trans, or anything else, they wouldn't have to hate everyone else. Instead they hate themselves so hard that they hate everyone else for existing as themselves.

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 112 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like gender affirming care to me.

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 27 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Then it turns out that because pollution, cheaply made food full of hormones and pesticides and cheap plastic crap the levels are too low overall and the requirement disappears silently. They'll certainly not touch the cause of the issues.

And the irony is that those same hormones and pesticides are probably at least partially responsible for the increasing numbers of the trans and queer people they hate so much.

Long explanation of trans neurology:

spoilerI'm trans myself, and I get why this is a touchy subject in the trans community. Many folks get deeply offended if you even try to talk about the "cause" of being trans, or flip out if you discuss the idea of neurology. But unless you want to believe in a soul, we are material beings. Everything I am, including my gender identity, is produced from the physical structure of my brain. There are some trans folks that take it way too far (self described "trans meds"), sometimes trying to use such neurological arguments to rank the validity of various trans folks. ("If you're happy with your original parts, you're not really trans!") And that's bullshit. But other trans folks sometimes overreact badly to this, and end up flipping out at anyone even mentioning the neurological roots of gender dysphoria, throwing around "trans med" as a hateful slur against anyone even suggesting a physical cause of transness, as if there could be any other cause of it.

I view being trans a kind of neurological intersex condition. Basically, there's some part of your brain that maps to your body's physical structure and sense of self. You have an internal neurological sense of what shape your body is supposed to be. And trans people are born with a map of the opposite sex (or some intermediate state for NB folks.) And this also extends to sociology. Gender roles sure are culturally specific, they are a cultural construct. But the EXISTENCE of gender roles is not a cultural construct. Every culture and society has gender roles. Gender roles are a social construct. The existence of gender roles is not - that's just part of universal human nature. What specific form these roles take varies wildly through time and cultures, but their existence is a universality. And human beings recognize gender from birth.

In short, whatever culture you're born into is going to have a collection of traits and behaviors they assign to males, another for females, and possibly some other gender options. And everyone is born with some innate sense of which bucket they belong in. Most males will naturally latch on to whatever the male-assigned norms of their culture are, and the opposite with females. But for trans people, whatever part of the brain that says, "you're a boy, you should model yourself on the other boys," just isn't built that way. Instead, you end up with someone born with one body, but a neurological structure instructing them to socialize and assimilate with the opposite gender.

Essentially being trans is a neurological intersex condition. Some parts of the brain's structure are sexually dimorphic, and what you get depends on your genetics and what hormonal cocktail you're exposed to in utero. Add in a bunch of hormonal disruptors and hormone-like compounds into the mix? Well, trans people have always existed. We have evidence of trans people going back 4000 years. But that doesn't mean being trans lacks a cause. Even in a perfectly clean environment, natural hormonal fluctuations would mean there still would be trans folks. But since hormones control everything related to sex differentiation, I find it impossible that the compounds in our food and water aren't having some effects on the rates of queer people being born each year. I think most of the increasing number of trans folks in recent years is simply because people are more comfortable about coming out. But I also find it extremely unlikely that some of the increase isn't due to environmental factors.

I know that this makes most trans people very uncomfortable. No one wants to feel that their identity and existence is in part due to some environmental effect. But frankly, such folks should get over themselves. We're physical beings made of atoms. We can discuss the environmental causes of social phenomena without applying a judgment to it. I don't care if my transness was in part caused by environmental pollution I was exposed to as a fetus. Regardless, it's simply who I am, the cause is irrelevant to my life. Hell, I would rather be seen by the public as some victim of environmental circumstance rather than a weird pervert. Neither explanation would be entirely correct, but at least people would be more accepting of trans people getting medical care in the earlier case.

Anyway, sorry for the essay. This is a touchy subject in the trans community, and I needed to stamp on a bunch of disclaimers. (And some terminally online scold will probably still come out of the woodwork to scream at me for violating the Party line.)

But I just find it so infuriating. The same Republicans that hate trans people so badly also vehemently oppose the kinds of environmental protections that would honestly probably reduce the rate of trans people being born.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 21 hours ago

The cause of the issue is obesity. Soldiers are not allowed to be obese. They will find nothing.

If Hegseth starts dosing soldiers with androgen, then be prepared for a wave of cancer.

[–] dread@lemmy.world 80 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What about the mental deficiency of the President? No?

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What are you on about? He's passed all those impossible cognitive tests! He's obviously high IQ.

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 3 points 14 hours ago

Man woman person camera tv

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

He is the Commander in Chief of the armed forces.

[–] Photonic@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago

What about testing ethanol levels in secretaries of defense?

This is a ride to start using "guidelines" to start juicing up the troops to insane levels.

[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

Are they making some sort of corellation between testosterone and propensity towards violence? Like a cartoon would?

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Well, here's hoping that at least trans men get the hormones they need to perform optimally on the battlefield...

[–] TheMuffinMan@piefed.world -1 points 21 hours ago

Appreciate that you mean well, but it’s 2 words! ‘trans’ is an adjective describing men

Back on-topic, I highly doubt they give a damn about trans men. Not that I think they (or anyone) should serve in the military, but I digress.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

looks like we're heading back to eugenicists

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 5 points 20 hours ago
[–] kokesh@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

Well, Hitler gave his soldiers meth, so sHitler should give his some aggression hormone with help of his field marshal Heitelth.

[–] Sybilvane@lemmy.ca 5 points 21 hours ago

Are women going to also be tested? What happens when their levels come back low? Will they be deemed not capable enough to continue working?

[–] BlatNews@piefed.social 9 points 1 day ago

Alternative title: Pete Hegseth becomes trans ally, supports HRT. /s

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

This is the best leadership he is capable of....