this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 167 points 1 week ago (2 children)

alternative scenerio:

Guy: "it turns javascript objects into texts in json format"

Soldier: "He uses javascript, shoot the poor bastard"

[–] bluelabel@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Alternative scenario:

Soldier B: Soldier A asked a JavaScript question instead of a software engineering question. He's not a real soldier, shoot him

[–] somegeek@programming.dev 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Name 3 UML diagrams and 3 architectures!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 week ago

“It’s ok. Just shoot me.”

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Name 3 UML diagrams

Class diagram, use case diagram and... What was the useless, barely readable evolution of flowcharts called again? Activity diagram?

and 3 architectures!

MOS 6502, amd64, and... I've never figured out the ARM naming scheme. AAAAAAarch64 or something?

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[–] lime@feddit.nu 85 points 1 week ago (15 children)

i've designed my own communication protocols that run directly on udp. i couldn't tell you either.

[–] MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ima guess it's javascript-ese to turn a json object into a string, perhaps for serialization. But no clue, coding for decades but always hated js, I guess my way through with a linter and IDE when I absolutely, positively, cannot find an alternative, which seldom happens.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean, the meme could've been ‘oh, it's JS, shoot me’

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Before yaml, I used json with Ruby it was way nicer to read than xml config files ( but way before that I started using it with PHP and Actionscript)

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Yeah you don’t have to be using JavaScript to use json. Yes I know it’s part of the name, but it’s just an object notation which is the other part of the name, and this has become widely accepted for use in nearly all popular languages and frameworks.

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[–] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not sure every software engineer needs to know this. If they'd said web developer I suppose this would really be expected knowledge, but then you'd probably want to shoot them anyway.

[–] Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

honestly, this is used for debugging. Why not just pass the object as value to the console.log()

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[–] SparroHawc@piefed.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Web developer, or business developer. A lot of inter-system communications these days is in JSON, whether there is any JavaScript involved or not.

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[–] foleac@discuss.tchncs.de 63 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

TypeError: JSON.stringfy is not a function

[–] urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe 15 points 1 week ago

of course MIT uses their own JSON primitives

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh shit didn’t notice the typo. Probably the all caps didn’t help.

[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Its ok, JavaScript is an interpreted language so the client won't notice until after we've shipped.

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[–] Zacryon@feddit.org 45 points 1 week ago (14 children)

I have worked with JSON very often and do not know, what 'Stringify' is. Reading it for the first time. Does it... convert anything to strings?

Looked it up:

The JSON.stringify() Method

The JSON.stringify() method converts a JavaScript value into JSON text.

https://www.w3schools.com/js/js_json_stringify.asp

Okay JavaScript. Never worked with JS before.

Also, didn't knew web devs are considered 'software engineers' now. /j

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[–] mrsilkworm@piefed.social 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I ll do you a better one. Why is Jason?

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't ask - if he told you then he'd have to kill you...

img

[–] cryptTurtle@piefed.social 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 7 points 1 week ago

No no no no no - keep up! We're talking about "Jason" - the one who was killed but came back to continue his task anyway... oh, I see the confusion now 🤔🤪

img

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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Ugh, terrible memory unlocked.

I asked someone a similar question in an interview once. They weren't doing well and I wanted to end on a positive at least. I asked them to make a dict in python and for extra credit, turn it into a string using whatever library or method they want.

This was not for a junior position.

5 minutes of for loop insanity later they disconnected crying. I always felt bad for that guy.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

when i last did interviews we didn't do live coding, but chatted to applicants about things they liked about their preferred language (this was a consultancy position). people who actually like to program tend to have loads of opinions. juniors moreso. the less engaged people were with those questions, the worse the solution the their take-home task tended to be.

a friend of mine interviewed a candidate who apparently visibly froze after every question, like it was a quiz. turns out they were being fed answers from people off-screen and those people hadn't expected casual conversation. they were found out when they forgot to mute.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I once had a candidate give the join link to the meeting out to several people (there were 3 unknown people in the call in addition to me and him). I immediately explained we can't do the interview with all these other people on the call and he proceeded to try and gaslight me that there were no other people in the call, like he honestly thought he had jedi mind truck powers.

I called over several coworkers to witness the clusterfuck, many lols were had.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 8 points 1 week ago

man, what i wouldn't give for mind truck powers.

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[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Haha I have also done an interview where the person had a friend in the room feeding them answers, though this one must have assumed his mic was worse than it was and didn't mute at all, so we could hear the mumbling of answers. To make it even funnier, though, their friend wouldn't have gotten hired either because none of their answers were good.

I kinda wanted to tell them they should find a smarter friend to help them cheat at interviews but instead just thanked them for their time and ended the interview.

Though tbh, I wasn't really impressed by any of the new grads from the schools we were looking at. Some of them made me wonder if they learned anything at all about software development during their time at school.

[–] heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 week ago (5 children)
cat = dict(name=‘Garfield’, color=‘orange’)
str(cat)

Can I have that job?

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[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago

When imposter syndrome meets an actual imposter!

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[–] molten_boron@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ah, I see where he went wrong. The correct answer was "JavaScript? Ew."

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[–] Luminous5481@anarchist.nexus 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Javascript is a human rights violation

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

i agree but hate to add the caveat that it (well, typescript) these days is by far the language that i’m most productive in, with the fewest bugs

it took me a long time to admit that to myself

it’s still a human rights violation

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It is my GOD given RIGHT to pull half of NPM through MY MACHINE (and get compromised by 500 different MALICIOUS packages) due to my NEED for the MOST up to date PACKAGES!

I WILL have my hourly update to iseven() or I WILL have DEATH.

"There's just no way to prevent these kinds of attacks" says only language where this consistently happens.

If you ARENT updating your libraries every 15 MINUTES are you even a REAL PROGRAMMER!?

I MUST get ALL of the latest vulns and exploits on my machine NOW!

I've even written a script to change my API tokens for me since they get STOLEN so OFTEN because my OTHER SCRIPT updates NPM dependencies CONSTANTLY so I can ALWAYS be the FIRST to PULL IN the newest MALWARE.

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[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (5 children)
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[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 15 points 1 week ago

"What does JWT stand for?"

"That's easy. JWT tokens are..."

"Shoot him."

[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 13 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Huh, this made me realize all these years that I've been pronouncing it as "jay-sawn." Is it really pronounced like "Jason?"

[–] DaleGribble88@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I've heard both. Personally, I will continue to pronounce it "Jay-Sawn" until I hear a damn good reason for why I should stop.

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[–] Damage@feddit.it 12 points 1 week ago (5 children)
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[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I was with Jason Stringify just last night, but he tried to convert me to a new religion so I left.

[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

Oh my god... that's JSON Bourne

[–] cmhe@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Json Carter

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

JSON Statham

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

just jq and cut to the chase

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