Ask Lemmy

https://reddthat.com/comment/27670354

My advice from a month ago still stands.

Manifestation used to work but then I manifested for it to no longer work

In my experience - manifestation kind of works by changing your focus, you notice opportunities that you might have missed. Though I once manifested a board for our bed by saying I need a board for the bed then opening the door and there was a big board propped up in an alley, and another time a big cardboard box for baby chicks sort of the same way, just looked around wherever I went and found one the same day.

I don't think it works like that for money, you aren't going to find it in the alley, but focusing on it can help you get a better job because you are telling people you need one (networking) and open to opportunities to make more money.

Same with wanting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Having that energy, the openness to experience attracts more people.

Failure isn't always a negative, it can be an educational experience to carry on. Don't be afraid of failure, use it to learn, be afraid of success. It's fickle.

Not to be harsh, but trading and manifestation are not going to get you anywhere. Focus on your studies and relationships, try new activities, keep off drugs, exercise and eat healthy.

Yeah, the boring stuff is how you make life good.

if you havent read Reminisces of a Stock Operator, do so

and remember the most important rule...buy low, sell high

speculating is like farting, if you have to force it it's probably shit. being nervous about a trade likely means your either oversized/not managing risk properly or there is some underlying doubt to whatever thesis underpins that particular gamble.

"scalping liquidity/volatility" on an intraday basis should really only be done on the most liquid indexes within the opening hour/hour and a half, via futures (safer if you mistime/don't set a stop, and gets better tax treatment but requires higher initial capital)/short-dated options on ETF's like QQQ (do not hold these shits outside opening hour, these should be 5-15m trades, buy low sell high. cannot say that enough)...trying to trade "momentum" on individual tickers is just really not worth the effort/risk, trust me.

scalping volatilty is just for paying the bills though, the best $ comes from identifying solid swing trades with longer timeframes and buying solid companies while they're cheap/beaten down and holding them for a long time.

also, your basically actively giving yourself a gambling addiction if you do it daily... from the author of that book

the desire for constant action irrespective of underlying conditions is responsible for many losses on Wallstreet even among professionals, who feel like they must take home some money every day as though they were working for regular wages

the entire point to figuring out how the casino works is to free yourself up from needing to work a job, obviously watching/worrying about charts all day isnt fulfilling though. volunteer your time to something impactful locally, work on a passion project etc. live life, if you've figured out a (backtested) edge to the market you have beaten the first fucked up level that is capitilism

You're asking the right question at least. It's about persistent effective action, what kills that is motivation.

If daily affirmations or visualizing a goal keeps you motivated, great. I went through about 6 months of job hunting last year, doing literally anything but writing apps helped me clear my head so when I started again I got into a rhythm more easily.

I think it's just important to track your progress. What have you attempted, what is the status of things you're currently trying etc will help you determine if whatever you're doing to stay motivated is working and if not you know you need to change your approach.

What I thought mattered at the time: Opinions of other people
What actually mattered: My own opinions

People expected me to borrow money, buy a house, get married, travel the world etc. I didn't actually want to do any of those. Well, eventually I did screw up, got stuck in that situation for years, but now I'm finally free again. Phew. 😌

If I could send a message back in time to a 20 year old me it would be this:
You may not be entirely sure about what you do want, but you certainly know what you don’t want. Let the latter guide you. When people expect you to do something you don’t want, don’t do it. Peer pressure in this context is just annoying noise, nothing more. You shouldn't make life-altering things unless you're really sure about it. It isn't enough that everyone else has done it and expects you to follow suit. Contrary to many cultural norms, the people around you don't actually always know what's good for you.

is manifestation, just assuming "paths" open up for you in life without effort. ive seen that in other forums, where people end up complaining about it?

Check out Mr. Money Mustache and related resources, like this one, https://livingafi.com/2014/01/21/how-to-live-in-corporate-prison/. That guy did go back to work, due to unexpected divorce and health issues that changed the math. Still lots of good posts on bad workplaces, how to deal with work in healthier ways, and navigating stages of his life was relatable.

With a do-over, I would have picked 100% growth fund in the 401k from the start. If you want some bond funds too, buy them separate, not the target-date or other mixed funds, so you decide which fund type to sell when you want to. Good luck!

I'm afraid the actual advice I'd give myself is something other people know by that point.

Failing that, "it's not what you know, it's who you know", since there's the opposite idea around. If you have to choose between a network and actual basic competence, it really looks like the network gets you further, now that I've seen more of life. (Both is of course ideal)

On investments, yeah, a boring diversified portfolio will lead the pack. On the law of attraction, just what about this universe seems like it's designed to give you want you want? That's not how anything works; take whatever you do have, and build on it, one day at a time.

As others said: Choose to fall in love with brushing and flossing your teeth.

Make that shit your "me" time.

Experiment with expensive or esoteric ways to make it feel great.

If it's not the best part of your day, change things up until it is.

I would have suffered less if I had figured this out sooner.

So when I was 20 I didn't have money, but as the others have said, just do boring index fund investing. My greatest advice is, exercise at least moderately. A lot of people including myself only start with 30. I am glad I did as 5 years later I start feeling the pain of getting older, but I wished I started way sooner.

The other thing I can recommend is finding hobbies that make you happy, it does not matter how weird they are. Go running in the woods, collect old news papers, get into board games, play tennis, contribute to openstreetmap, hell do whatever. Don't make finance or cryptosystem your hobby.

Regarding the manifestation / headspace stuff - sounds pretty esoteric to me. Reminds me of young insecure man that write stuff like "be successful" on their mirror. I hope that's not what you're into, if yes, stay away for your own sanity.

Thr only laws of attraction that are real are gravity and magnetism.

I'm going to latch onto another part of what you said rather than focusing on trading or manifestation. What in the world do you do for fun? If you're trading in any way that has the chance to make you a profit you're already commits multiple hours a day to this if not a few hours a week (honestly you shoudn't really be trading right now, you should, if you're able, be saving most of your money you're trading into an etf and just let it sit and accumuluate, but that's beside the point), on top of learning dispatching (which I don't know what you mean but that's my own ignorance), and studying. Literally what do you do for fun that doesn't put your money on the line? What do you do that makes you feel good as a person? Because I can tell you what's on the other side of all this grinding you're doing without having any time to enjoy yourself, and that's depressed and burnt out, if you're not already there.

Acquire difficult to learn, useful, and easy to implement skills that people will pay good money for. Medicine and engineering are your best bet for a high floor. Unless you have a Bloomberg terminal and are a math whiz, don’t waste your time trying to make money as a day trader. You might get lucky, but chances are you won’t. Stay out of debt as best you can.

You didn’t ask, but I know any warm blooded 20 year old is going to be thinking about it. When it comes to women, no one is out of your league. Repeat that to yourself. No one is out of your league. The manifestation shit does work with the ladies. They respond to confidence. The more you get into the batters box and swing, the more confidence you will have the next time you get into the batters box. Eventually you will hit a home run. Hall of fame baseball players fail more than they succeed. Don’t be afraid of rejection and don’t take it personally. Just get back in the batters box and swing away.

One piece of advice would be: Don't ask for help if you're never going to accept it. Don't ask for advice unless you're prepared to listen.

People will not want to keep helping or advising you when they see that their help and advice is being ignored over and over. People want to help, but not if you are choosing to stay in trouble rather than accept the help offered.

Enough people have told you that you're not in the emotional or financial state to do trading, and have given you alternatives for investment suitable for your age, ability, and budget.

When will you listen to the advice you're asking for?

I'll try and keep it universal.

Don't do stocks short term, if you want to invest before having money, go for an ETF savings plan (some money every month into the same ETF) and maybe something your government co-funds.

You can buy stocks once it doesn't hurt and you can hold them with no issues. But ETF are good and safe.

Find what comes easy to you, invest in that. You're good with people? Great, so work with them. If you're cool with having conflict with them, gain some knowledge in a field where they need you to say "No" professionally and reap the benefits (Auditors aren't poor people, neither are managers). If you're not a conflict person, maybe you enjoy Sales, if you fall in-between, project management may work for you. If you're a technician go be a technician, you'll always complain but never be poor and usually you'll enjoy the complaining. Or maybe there's a trade that you can really enjoy, that's great too.

Important is that you don't have to try hard to hit the basic goals every day, there should be some ease in what you do, cause you can't always be at 100%.

Talking about 100%:

80% is enough. It's fine to stretch for the ceiling, but keep in mind that it's a stretch. It's okay to not reach it, you're not a worse person for it, you're a better person for trying.

"Fake it, till you make it" works, but you have to be ready to make some mistakes. They happen to everyone, you're not alone. And it also works if you want to be happier or wiser or just a little more fit. Just keep at it, if you occasionally drop the ball, pick it back up and keep going. Each time you pick it back up, you learned something new.

Last and most important:

You as a human being don't need to do or be anything to be whole and complete and worthy of love. You're fine just the way you are.

That doesn't mean you should stop trying to be who you want to be, it just means that your value isn't determined by money or business achievements. There's joy in progression, go get what you want, just don't measure your value by that.

more curious how you actually get into a good headspace and stay there day to day

Anything you can do to take care of yourself and get what you need helps with this, cooking for yourself, getting enough sleep, getting exercise, spending time in nature, spending time with people, cleaning, etc. Aside from the direct benefits of things that make you healthier, the experience of the act is a tangible reassurance that you are there for yourself, so don't buy into an idea that it isn't worthwhile.

Also if you like anime at all one that I liked where the theme is 20s life advice is The Tatami Galaxy

I recommend checking out the the book The Evolving Self by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It helped me a lot around that age think more deeply about what I wanted in life.