Could you grab me some ram? I was going to take out a mortgage to upgrade my computer, but then I realized I don't own any property
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2026
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Okay but like, time for real shit. I am in Korea. I went to a thrift store and got his beat the fuck up looking Thinkpad T480 for like $25. No shit. I take it home and take it apart. You know what I see? I got a Samsuing NVMe 2tb and fucking 2 32gb of Crucial DDR4 RAM chips. NO SHIT!
So uh... in real life? Come to Korea and peruse the fucking thrift shops.
In that case I’ll have some Korean BBQ, pleeease!
No. I been to a ton of K-BBQ places and I found them all disappointing so you aren't allowed as well. You're welcome.
Awhhh well in that case I’ll have one of those K-Pops I’ve been hearing about. I’ll have uhhh lime. Or grape, if they’re out of lime.
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They are expensive to feed.
Can I get one abolition of hierarchy, one abolition of borders, and some fries?
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If you bump into my dad getting his ciggies, tell him to come home already.
Some will to live.
I brought you huile d'olive, which sounds a bit similar.
I'm here if you need an also depressed friend to talk to.
Nah my coworkers were also in it with me none of us sat down for like 12h except when I ate too many cupcakes between admissions and had to bolt for the off-unit toilet before I shit myself and some of it was funny at least in that darkly absurd way that the slow decay of the American healthcare system is. I couldn't have picked better people to spend a shitty night with there are like 1-2 people who would have made it an even swap and some of the techs could have been better but none of the actual mid coworkers were there so.
I got you some booze. Usually helps me when the going gets tough.
You just reminded me to add the liquor store to my errand list, thank you.
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New US president, please.
I'm not in the United States, bro. Nothin' I can do. Sadness.
I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda
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A Cinnamon Toast Crunch shake. Get two, because you’ll want one. They’re better than they have any right to be. It’s just a vanilla shake with Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal mixed in.
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A revolution
Get me the two piece special. Lots of hotsauce and all the friiiies you can get me.
World peace, and if that's not available, some cheese and onion chips.
Large pizza with the works, add pineapple.
Got it, pal. I got you a pizza topped with 4 kinds of cheeses, tater tots, egg, squid, tteokbokki, a sacrificial virgin, ice cream, matcha, boba, spinach, yumyum sauce, sleeping powder, and pineapple just like you wanted!
When they're dragging out the capers and honey, you know they're giving you the Works.
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Are you going to the grocery store next to the Lowes?
a bit of fentanyl maybe
Can you get me some meds? I think I'm experiencing a manic episode.
...oh oops, I read "meds" as "maids"
Yo, you still want some maids, bro?
Dude! In my country, MAID can be medically assisted suicide. Make sure ya get the right kind of maid!
Oh yeah my house is a disaster that works too.
If he fully want the maids I'll take them.
I am maidenless
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Maybe some good news?
Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for your brother Bob. We also need a small plastic snake and a big toy frog for the kids. You can scoop these things into three red bags, and we will go meet you Wednesday at the train station.
Spinach tortellini, please