this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2026
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Comic Strips

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[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 20 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

My wife and I are basically attached at the hip. She’s my best friend and we do so much to support each other on all fronts.

Meanwhile in our friend circles, it’s the total opposite. People that are clearly with the wrong partners but refuse to change or grow; one that continues chasing a relationship they’ve admitted is toxic for them; couples that are married out of what seems like trauma alone or they’ve simply drifted due to never communicating; a few with the weird β€œwife bad lol” boomer mentality; a now-acquaintance that used to always give everyone unsolicited advice, has now started expressing misogynistic views after being perpetually single. Just no capacity for introspection and self-reflection.

My wife and I are by no means perfect, but we are open with each other, we cheer each other on, and we talk through things that bug us. The building blocks are simple but some folks refuse to adhere to them, while constantly wondering what went wrong.

Women have always been the strongest leaders throughout my life. My wife is my world and I personally think that women make better leaders. I’ve never been interested in any of the dumb humor and thought tropes that come out of male circles about women, even dating back to high school. All of that shit has always felt weird and makes me lose respect for the men that lean on that kind of lazy punch-down humor.

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 12 minutes ago

Open, honest communication is the foundation for ANY healthy long term relationship. Spousal, friendship, family, all of it. It genuinely baffles me how many people don't seem to get what that means. It doesn't mean you need to be perfect. It means you need to approach tension in your relationship in good faith and with intent to fix it as a team, not as an excuse to shirk responsibility and blame others. Even if it isn't your fault. Blame itself does not offer solutions.

As a 100% polyamorous person, most folks first instinct is to ask me how I can manage it without getting jealous and are shocked to hear that, if anything, I feel orders of magnitude less jealousy than I would in an exclusive relationship. The problems they usually cite are problems that would be just as bad if not worse with monogamy, as evidenced by how many peoe cheat in monogamy. Their gut reaction is to imagine it as some sort of cuckold/cuckuean humiliation ritual when it really just comes down to the fact that I'm not perfect, I accept that fact and I want the ones I love to maximize the love they feel by seeking what I can't provide from others. It's such a burden off my chest. I can love my wife in the ways I do best and just be happy with that.

I kinda lost track what I was talking about I'm a bit sleep deprived. But I'm happy you and your wife are flourishing and I hope any changes to come only serve to strengthen that πŸ’šπŸΏοΈ

[–] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 2 points 1 hour ago

My wife and I are at the bar patio right now playing board games.

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 1 points 1 hour ago

Love this perspective and I feel a lot of the same

It's the "Ain't it Awful" game. Just tell them he has a small dick and they'll concede. It works twofold: they'll feel sorry for you, and you won't have to worry that they'll try to fuck him.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 hour ago

I always found that so difficult to grasp, too. Even if you're splitting responsibilities, so that one person does the dayjob and the other does the household, hell, even if you've decided to be a terrible partner, how do you never think to yourself:

  • "I need some space on this table, let me just put away a few things." or
  • "I'd like this one specific meal that I have in mind, I'll try to prepare it."

???

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 33 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

Relationships work best when you just do things.

Only job I don't touch is laundry. I'm perfectly fine doing it, but my spouse has the most convaluted ADHD non-system. When I do help I end up washing clean clothes and putting away dirty clothes because I can't tell what pile is what.

[–] PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world 11 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

All I had to do was ruin a few articles of her clothing and I was off the job. I was truly trying to be helpful, but the blowback was real. I still do my own, however.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

First sentence sounded a lot like weaponized incompetence. πŸ˜…

[–] PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world 3 points 54 minutes ago* (last edited 53 minutes ago)

IKR? I was accused of that, but it was honestly unintentional even if the results were not entirely undesirable...

Laundry go in machine come out wet. Put in next machine, come out dry. It was a while ago and I have since learned there is nuance with fabrics/temps/hang dry, etc. I still do just my own laundry as the lesson is not forgotten, but I am also approved for general sheets and towels duty. You do what you will with the original information!

[–] forkDestroyer@infosec.pub 7 points 3 hours ago

My spouse set up individual tubs for each person's clothes to be put in after the dryer (including tubs for blankets and towels).

Very organized, but the entire laundry room floor is covered in these individual tubs.

I fold things as soon as I take them out of the dryer so I can avoid the tubs.

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[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 187 points 6 hours ago (5 children)

I'm a guy and this is me with my friends. Every time we hang out they have such boomer attitudes about their wives, one is even convinced that I'm gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way. It's depressing, but there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 46 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I've had the opposite experience. A few year ago a bunch of the guys I hung out with in college got together at a Wurstfest (German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas), and got super drunk. All the married guys were talking about how they just loved their wives so much.

It was super wholesome.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 hours ago

German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas

Oh man, I was expecting a town in Germany and nearly broke my brain trying to pronounce "Bew Braunfels" in German.

Then I read the "Texas". πŸ˜…

[–] neidu4@piefed.social 51 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

I remember seeing here on Lemmy a while back that a good boyfriend/girlfriend is a best friend where there is also an erotic angle.

I'd like to propose that it's not an erotic angle, but a romantic one!

I know for many it's probably the same thing, but to me there's a clear difference between a close friend who you also have sex with and a romantic partner

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

an erotic angle.

Or at least a cute one

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[–] LilB0kChoy@reddthat.com 9 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

As one of the ancient poets once said

How can we be loves if we can’t be friends?

  • Michael Bolton, 1989
[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

I thought he was a no-talent ass-clown!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 34 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way

Classic Divorced Guy

there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates

Wife and I joke about how we can never get divorced because it would be too awkward when we kept hanging out as friends.

But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.

[–] gilokee@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

I dated a guy for 13 years, when we finally broke up we were still going to events together!

[–] Feidry@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.

Some people are just better as friends than lovers and I think that's awesome if they can figure that out before doing irreparable damage to said friendship.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 1 minute ago

Some people are just better as friends than lovers

Mrs. Doubttfure taught me that same lesson!

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 hours ago

Same here

After a few beers I usually just try to hold back the question why they're even together with their wife, if they're so unhappy with her

I do get, that some people just need to vent, but I don't have anything bad to say about my wife.
She loves this piece of shit, that I am. In my eyes she is an absolute saint

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[–] HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 15 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I saw this from another angle a while ago. Speaking to a group of women at work and mentioned I do pretty much all the cooking at home. One of them asked what I make and I got the impression she doubted my ability, she is older and perhaps basing this off her own husband.

So I listed some weekday meals I typically make, made a point that it is all stuff I make after work too because someone had mentioned not having the time to cook.

Sourdough pizza, egg fried rice and lemon chicken, toad in the hole, pie with roast potatoes and gravy. Then sometimes if we want a pudding I sometimes make rice pudding, or steamed sponge like a jam roly poly or spotted dick.

[–] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 16 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Please don't be alarmed, but I am finding out where you live and coming round for my tea.

[–] NEZ27@lemmy.zip 18 points 4 hours ago

Lol my wife works in a clinic with some folks that are a little messy, with messier SOs.

I get so much goodwill for just laying in the cut. Sending a meme instead of a mean text is apparently a hard hurdle to clear for some folks.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe 52 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.

[–] forkDestroyer@infosec.pub 10 points 3 hours ago (4 children)

Hot take: venting about the person you live with doesn't mean you'll be venting about people you hang out with occasionally.

But it would be good to discuss your issues with the person face to face, regardless if it's a friend, roommate, or spouse.

[–] Zensate@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Hotter take: If they stay with someone they can't talk to about their problems with, they're going to have other flaws as well. A healthy functioning adult is not gonna be in that kind of relationship, or stay in it either

[–] forkDestroyer@infosec.pub 2 points 2 hours ago

I don't think that's a hot take, I think that's a perfectly reasonable take.

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 115 points 7 hours ago

Weaponized Competence!

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