this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 104 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

I want to not wake up to an alarm.

I want to sip coffee on my porch while I watch woodland creatures.

I want to plow a field and drink barley water.

I want to tramp around a bog looking for wild edibles while my dog flushes game.

I want to wander in the woods after a snowfall, with the Milky Way above me and it’s so quiet I can hear the owls fly by.

I want the fireflies to be all the light I need.

I want an email to never find me.

That’s what I want for Christmas.

[–] Klear@piefed.world 71 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] snooggums@piefed.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

To a restaurant 3 hours away.

[–] EonNShadow@pawb.social 6 points 3 weeks ago

... By plane

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[–] mctoasterson@reddthat.com 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Best I can do is a medium Hickory Farms gift box from the mall kiosk.

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

What’s a mall? /s

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

that's beautiful.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

You will receive golden physical bitcoin (plastic).

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

It’s a start.

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[–] daannii@lemmy.world 50 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Everything inexpensive, I already have. Everything else is too much to ask for.

Like pay off my medical bills/student loans.

Buy a house.

Get dental work.

8tb SSD.

These things are way too expensive to ask anyone for.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I’m 42.

I want a remote control speedboat.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think that's achievable and I also think you deserve it. I hope this happens for you.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I might just buy it for my son so I can use it.

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[–] SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml 42 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

the problem is, the reason why i want something and dont already have it is because its expensive. and i dont expect someone to pay a 3-4 figure sum for my gift

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 weeks ago

Thats exactly it. The only things I want are crazy expensive. I've got more than everything else that I want/need.

But when I say to my wife "seriously I'm happy with a box of chocolates" thats not good enough.

[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

I can afford things beyond the price levels I'd expect others to buy me gifts for. What I lack is the time to enjoy those things. Just yesterday I saw the giant Millenium Falcon lego in the store, and once again considered getting it, but then I realised it would take me years to build it, five minutes per week or so when I get a bit of alone time.

That's why I jokingly suggested a few years ago, that for Christmas I wished for peace and quiet, and ended up offending my wife (who probably wished for the same).

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

To me, this is a sign of maturity. No longer requesting specific things, but accepting what others pick out for you.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

asking what they want is for kids that have no purchasing power, for adults is more fun to take the risk and surprise each other

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

At this point I have all the things I want or need. I'd much rather have experiences

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

Then the gift could be one such experience to surprise you with

That's the idea behind a good gift, it's knowing the other person sufficiently to be able to know what they really would like, that they won't get themselves/can't justify it

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago

On the contrary, don't get me things. I do not need more junk that's tangentially related to my interests cluttering up my house. I don't have room for more random stuff, thanks.

[–] Murse@slrpnk.net 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My answer is basically to stop letting a calendar date guilt trip you into wasting money on me because you've been marketed into some obligation so send me shit I don't need. If you happen to find something you think I'd actually appreciate, go for it, but even then it doesn't have to be for some stupid holiday.

I've kinda just stopped giving a shit about things like christmas or birthdays, both for me and for the people I'd consider giving a gift to, but I give them the same treatment: if I find something they'd like, I'll just buy and gift it as soon as it's convenient. And honestly the reactions are much better anyway, since it shows you're actually thinking of that person and not just fulfilling some annual ritual to send them shit cuz the commercials say it's time.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Money. Not gift cards, not 'you'll take me out for a fancy lunch', not 'I'll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist'. Money. Cold, physical currency.

Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don't want furniture, I don't want games, I don't want gift certificates. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. And for my 'splurge' list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you'll just give me cash? Okay then. Don't open any package addressed to me, mmkay?

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 weeks ago

I'd still take a nice lunch though

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

We use the strategy of “luxury consumables” often. Fancy oil/vinegar, chocolate, candles, coffee, etc.

[–] Kitchel@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, I like to receive and give food gifts. Or I tend to give something I made myself, for example knitted socks or baked goods.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Asking what I want? Wouldn't you rather play some sort of guessing game to prove that you know me better than I know myself?

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

Hi. Pretty sure we used to date.

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Everything I want is expensive and I don't expect people to pay for it. Like if I were to buy something useful now, it'd be almost $1000 (fucking ram), and everything else is more expensive.

So I just say I want nothing.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Are non-fucking rams cheaper?

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Since there's only one actual child in my family of 10ish that gets together for Christmas, I've been trying to convince everyone to do group gifts. Adults have jobs and can buy little things they want, but 10 people can go in on one big purchase. Last year we all went in on a laptop for my sister, and similar big purchases for most of the other adults.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Something not expensive from the heart".

Flusters folk a lot. I frankly don't care if you give me a broken padlock or a dingalong found in a forgotten pawnshop as long as it does tie into, well, me. Intention is what matters to me more than the item.

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yep. I ask for photos, letters, memories. A lot of them aren’t fans but I’ve got a couple loved ones who do special outings with me as gifts now at least.

It’s hard to get them to transition to that, for sure.

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

Partial bottom surgery and a coupon for free facial/body hair removal services pls

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I generally don't want things. I get asked for a wishlist every year. I have to come up with a book list because that's really the only thing I can think of that is a normal gift

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

I tell people to get me liquor and candles. Honestly, I just want my friends to show up once a year so we can hang out for a few hours like the good old times.

[–] Townlately@feddit.nl 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I just give a list of charities, donate in my name. I have enough trinkets probably.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

This is a great choice!

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But the strip club doesn't offer gift cards, so what do I ask for?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

On the other hand, you can use gift cards to tip the strippers!

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[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You wishing for a comet collision with Earth too?

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

comets are beautiful. We deserve an asteroid.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

I want to be free

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