Ask Lemmy

Deactivated Facebook about 6 years ago. That shit is toxic and anyone that still has an account supports it.

Gotten top surgery. I knew my quality of life was going to improve by virtue of not having boobs that gave me dysphoria, but I thought I would have to wait until I was fully healed to feel it. My mood and outlook changed pretty much day after my surgery. It feels great :)

Gave up alcohol & went vegetarian.

Instructions unclear

Start working out. Seriously. A little cardio and a little strength training will go a long long way to improving your quality of life, even if you're not getting jacked.

In the past year:

• switched to minimalist footwear (so many physical ailments eased/disappeared)

• downloaded an app that reminds me to stand up & walk for 5 minutes every half hour

• got rid of all social media except the Fediverse

• got FL-41 glasses to help me function with migraines

• got an RSS feed app to let me keep up with all media & creators I want to keep up with, without the mental health strain of endless scrolling, algorithms, & toxic comments

Went absolutely ham with cycling in January, down 30kg as of today, still 5 to go. Trying to reach that 4W/kg FTP eventually 😅

I want pancakes now. Anyway, I bought man leggings. It's so fucking comfortable. It's like my ass and legs are being hugged. I love it so much. That's about all I got. I'm really craving pancakes now because of OP.

Biking to work

Split from my abusive wife.

Make stuff. With your hands,stuff that will last when you walk away from it. I spent a lot of time doing admin/office work, and you can be productive as hell but have nothing to physically look at for your time. I took up woodwork, started doing more building work on my property, and every time I look at what I’ve made, it makes me feel more connected to my home, and more capable of dealing with these weird times we find ourselves in. Learn skills, try different things, round out your experience in life. Make stuff you think is beautiful, or that makes your life better in some way, it’s a great feeling

Sailing the high seas again.

Started playing Eurotruck Simulator 2.

Less drugs

Made an effort to say "yes" when people invite me or are making plans. It's meant I get more invites, and have done and seen many things that I would've have otherwise. Picked up some new fun hobbies along the way too!

Laser eye surgery and sterilisation.

I still use sunglasses and condoms for protection, but can gladly go without on overcast days and in steady relationships, and I panic way less if they break when I need them the most.

More drugs

Bought a house in a quieter neighborhood. Apartment / condo life was destroying my mental health.

Switched to Linux and set up a Jellyfin server.

Laser eye surgery. No more glasses or contacts.

ITT: Do / don't have kids / do drugs

Mental healthcare provider hopping. You don't really know what a good one is like until you've had one. A lot of people try one, work really hard and get nowhere, either because their therapist is a crank, or maybe they're a competent professional that just doesn't work for them for whatever reason, so they conclude that therapy is a sham and they stop pursuing it.

I think it's good practice to evaluate whether what you're doing in therapy is helping at regular intervals. If it ain't, talk about it with your provider and if y'all can't fix it, hit the bricks and find someone who can. If your therapist is worth their salt they'll be happy to provide you with a reference if you ask. If they aren't, all the more reason to find someone better.

In no particular order :

• Made water my primary beverage. Turned out that chronic dehydration was causing several physical maladies that went away almost overnight once I started drinking more water.
• Stop caring so much about what others think about me. Especially strangers. Once I realized that the stranger in the grocery store does not continue to think about me once I am out of sight and if they do, I'll never know it so it doesn't matter. Living life based on what I think of me has been so much better for my mental health than living based on what I think others might think about me.
• Spend time alone with my thoughts. This allowed me to deal with issues and behaviors that I didn't like about myself and / or identify stressors that may have been manifesting in misdirected ways. I did this way more when I was younger and angrier and it took a couple of years, but I slowly worked through so many aspects of myself that I didn't like. Some I was able to change and others I learned to come to terms with and work around.
• When people ask "How's it going" or similar such greetings, I tell them the truth. This is a bit of an extension of the last 2 points, but I found that sharing and verbalizing the good and the bad worked better for me than internalizing everything.

Rewired, replumbed, insulated, and reroofed the house. Installed an Enphase System Controller 3 along with an IQ Combiner 5, and a pair of IQ5P batteries, have three IQ8A microinverters hooked to 400w bifacial panels so far. Have a total of 18 panels to install as I'm working on the racking. Also need replace the windows and a few other things but there is a lot of stuff in progress. Been a huge benefit and QOL boost overall.

Learning to Scuba dive helped my mental health a ton becoming a widower. Diving in general had been great for me, I just wish I could go more often.

I recently splurged on an expensive oled monitor and I must say I wish I had done this much sooner.

I'm nearsighted and the contrast really helps keep my eyes from feeling tired.

With small font I can notice an halo effect but it's much better than the glowing black light of my old ips screen.

Don't be cheap with footwear or beds.

Willful bachelorhood.

I have total license over my space, time, and money. I don't have a wife or kids nagging me every day. I wake up to a quiet, clean house.

The whole culture is trying to tell me I'm a loser, but I found the cheat code to a better life and I'm not jealous of anyone stuck supporting another person.

Marrying and having kids.

Sure the baby year fucks you up. But once they can go to daycare, life starts to normalise again.

Turns out, caring for other people gives you purpose and makes you happy.