this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2026
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Comic Strips

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Transcript4 Panel Comic

Panel 1: Ron Weasley sits in front of a fireplace with a Gameboy Yellow with PokΓ©mon Red in hand.

Ron: Harry, these muggle games are so fun!

Panel 2: Harry Potter sits across the fireplace from Ron and holds his wand and a Gameboy Red with the screen and wand pointing at Ron.

Potter: Ron, look! My PokΓ©mon is evolving from Abra to Kadabra!

Panel 3: Harry is horrified as magic flies from his wand

Panel 4: Harry comes to the depressing realization of what he’s done.

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[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 160 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I know, fuck Rowling and all that, but let's talk about whether this could happen in the HP universe. It couldn't. Thank you for your attention.

Remember their first lesson on Wingardium Leviosa and how important pronunciation and wand control was? It basically isn't supposed to work if you mispronounce it, and the pronunciation is pretty strict. Also, as we saw from The Half Blood Prince, for dark magic, you really have to cast the spell with intention.

[–] Semjeza@fedinsfw.app 32 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Exfoliate and excoriate the brain of Joanne Transphobe Rowling and all that...

But I appreciate your awareness and sense and deployment of knowledge of the in universe rules (perhaps even to an extent more than the author did).

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[–] lauha@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

While I agree with you, this is a clear joke :)

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[–] einkorn@feddit.org 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

However, there is also the concept of silently casting spells.

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's almost like Rowling is not the brilliant world builder that folks like Tolkien and Assimov are.

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Cribbing half of one's world from the real-life middle ages and the other half from the real-life 1990s does tend to paper over a lot of one's shortcomings.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

Wands are optional too, the only thing you have to do is think about something. But then Harry finds a book with a spell and without knowing what its effect are he uses it and Malfoy almost bleeds to death. The magic system just doesn't make any sense.

[–] BlindPenguin@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Wasn't there also something about intention? Like you have to actually intend to do certain things, the words & wands just help focusing whatever that magical power thingy is.

[–] tankfox@bookwyr.me 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

There's also a thing where most of the practitioners, including very high level ones, don't have a clue how it works. They know what works for them, that's about it. All of it is all intent and the wand and words and other trappings are intended to help channel it but are commonly mistaken as the tools doing the job. They would know this in universe if any of them were even passably interested in the scientific method instead of being arrogant rich bastard assholes that I fully detested by the end of the source material.

A fantastic real life corollary was Jacob Aldolphus "Jelly" Bryce, a prominent, arrogant, and primarily lucky FBI agent who had survived a number of shootouts. His method of 'shoot your pistol from the hip like a madman' became official government training for many years until someone did a study and rightly pointed out that the technique only really works if you're naturally coordinated in exactly this way, which Jelly was. For everyone else it was awful training that lost quite a few lives until actual science could show that bringing the pistol up in line with your eye didn't take measurably longer and allowed you to hit your target much more effectively.

[–] BlindPenguin@piefed.social 18 points 1 month ago (9 children)

They would know this in universe if any of them were even passably interested in the scientific method instead of being arrogant rich bastard assholes that I fully detested by the end of the source material.

I kinda love how this is a perfect description of Rowling herself, lol.

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[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In canon a wand is also a european invention, in many other cultures its optional and using your hands the norm.

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[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 69 points 1 month ago

This is fucking funny.

And fuck J.K. Rowling.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Here kid, have a gun. Don't worry best you can do is give me a nosebleed. You'll learn how to really kill people after you graduate from gun school."

[–] DonkeyStar@lemmy.world 15 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

There’s an edit of the first movie where they just use guns. They float the feather by shot-juggling it.

[–] Killer_Tree@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

After a quick search I found a copy - I lost it at "There's a troll in the dungeon! [BLAM]" Harry Potter and the Deathly Weapons

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[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 weeks ago

"We're gonna teach you the words to the spell to kill people when you're 14, since that's a ripe and mature age and kids are responsible by then. It's nbd, it's not like we're gonna let you practice the spell or anything, and kids don't just try dumb things outside of class!"

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Never point your wand at something you don't intend to curse!

Also, fuck J.K. Rowling.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 34 points 1 month ago (14 children)

Cringe. Harry Potter is cringe.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 17 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Isn't the killing curse "AVADAkadavra?"

[–] Maroon@lemmy.world 16 points 4 weeks ago

Harry's got a lisp in this universe. Don't be an ableist.

/s

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

We need to stop referencing this problematic IP, and its problematic author, and just let the whole damn thing slide into obscurity.

[–] TheEntity@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (8 children)

As much as I loathe the author and mundanely feel indifferent towards the franchise, I can't agree. It makes me think of H.P. Lovecraft who was far more problematic and yet I wouldn't want his works to be lost. Granted, he was poor during his lifetime, so he didn't spread his hate as much, but that's besides the point.

If anything let's keep infringing on her IP!

[–] missingno@fedia.io 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Lovecraft is dead, meaning he can't hurt anyone. Rowling actively uses the money she makes off the franchise to hurt people, and even the most indirect forms of advertisement for her IP ultimately help her profit and then use those profits to do harm.

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[–] Perky@fedia.io 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The difference is that Lovecraft is dead and no longer benefits from any sales or attention. JKR is, unfortunately, still alive and actively spreading as much misery as possible. Considering that there's a massive advertising push for the new show, we don't need to do their marketing for them by also spreading comics.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We can enjoy her work like Lovecraft's when she's as dead as Lovecraft.

If you want to make that day come sooner, then support your local trans community! Together we can give JK Rowling a stroke!

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (5 children)

or we could simply separate the artist from their head!

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Was Lovecraft really more problematic? I heard he was racist, but did he become the equivalent of a billionaire from his works, and use those proceeds to fuel more hate?

[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago

that's besides the point

I don't think it is. Giving money to Rowling, directly or indirectly, is to hurt our trans siblings. Buying The Call of Cthulhu won't do that.

[–] CobraCommander@quokk.au 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

H.P. Lovecraft never funded campaigns that made the state strip the rights of non-white people.

He is nowhere near more problematic, JK actively hurts people and is 100% responsible for trans deaths.

[–] blackbelt352@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Lovecraft was possibly the only instance where it legitimately was fear driving his xenophobia and not hatred. The man was completely and irrationally terrified of everything from air conditioners to mathematics that wasnt on a 2d plane to black people and eventually learned later in life that what scared him previously wasn't actually scary.

He also wasn't a billionaire actively throwing his money and notoriety behind hate groups specifically swaying legislation and public opinion to bring harm to people.

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[–] blibla@slrpnk.net 13 points 4 weeks ago

transrights

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