mine honestly does have good benefits though, £800/year pro-rata budget, and 30 days paid holiday
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2026
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Sometimes the restrooms at my office are stocked with two ply toilet paper, instead of the one ply sandpaper stuff.
I challenge anyone to top that benefit.
They don't even bother with great anymore. It's all "competitive salary and competitive benefits". The highest they're aiming is matching the average.
That's why I really hate the "competitive" buzzword. It's like, alright... let's say it's a competition. Are you winning it? Because I can certainly compete against Michael Phelps at swimming, but that doesn't mean I'm any good.
I recently became a corporate sellout after a lengthy stint in science. I do get a bit higher salary, but what struck me most is how much less competitive this environment is.
Forgot the 30 year old coffee maker, you have to bring your own beans tho
My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week.
Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more than a year, costing the company interest payments on the loans we took out to pay for it.
So far this year they downsized a whole department eliminating seven jobs including a middle manager type role, told us in not so many words that we were entering a period of deferred maintenance, and that corporate would be reevaluating cost of living adjustments for next year... the board is still planning stock buy backs and shareholder dividend payouts.
Management told us we have to cut back on "little luxuries" to which someone asked how the fuck water was a luxury. The economy is doing great!
I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place.
just put a fountain in?
edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.
It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.
ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on
around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank.
now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes
a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller, in which case it's back to a fountain
So it's a fountain unless it has a chiller, in which case it's a fountain? 🤔
oops. I've been having a lot of brain farts lately
I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us.
I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too.
The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but also, why the hell wouldn't you want them to have water too?
He got passed over for promotion and left when a prior subordinate became his supervisor. After he left the new manager asked me if we needed something, and I said we'd like to have a water cooler. She was both shocked that we were previously denied and surprised that water was what we needed to be happy. We've had the water cooler ever since.
You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".
I was trying to get a slurpee machine next.
As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.'
~ Alan Partridge
'Only a psychopath calls the workers enriching them dogs.'
~ Janx
That's weird.. Until today, I'd never heard that one, but this is the second time today!
I hope the frequency won't keep increasing exponentially..
Lucky one.
My manager refused to get us a new fridge for our lunches when the ancient one we had died. 10K bonus a year though, she collected that.
In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :(
It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.
Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?
They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass
Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs
Well, it's part of your gross salary, so you end up paying it yourself indirectly.
Not to mention it's also cumbersome and bureaucratic. Though subsidizing public transport is a good idea, I wasn't a big fan of this implementation when I worked in France. It would be much more efficient to just subsidize local transport tickets directly, or just make it free of charge and save even more unnecessary costs in handling tickets, hiring ticket inspectors, etc.
Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.
We have 3 Keurigs in the breakroom, but you can only run one at a time because they'll blow the breaker...
And it’s a five minute walk to get there, but you have to clock in and out at your desk.
I'm a salary+comm role, and they wanted me to start clocking in and out. I said sure, but you'll have to pay me overtime. Guess who doesn't have to clock in and out. Sidenote, I also dont work overtime anymore.
And there is a note on it telling you what you aren't allowed to microwave and its basically everything with flavor
And yet, someone still heats up tuna, egg and broccoli on the regular
We're currently suffering through only having three microwaves for 10 people in the office.
And only 1 table and 4 chairs so everyone shares elbow space while everyone else has to go outside
That microwave is far too clean
They aren't going to use a current picture. Getting close enough would expose them to the smells.
in this economy
We're Highly competitive:
[image of paycheck]
Minimum effort for maximum expectations.
I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.
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Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.
Your places of work are providing a coffee machine? And they're stocking it? Someone was nice enough to buy one for the break room, and everyone who partakes in the break room coffee rotates who buys the next can/bag of it.
We also previously had this microwave with 0-9 buttons that set it for a totally arbitrary amount of time. You didn't enter a number of minutes and seconds and press Start. If you pressed 2, you got 30 seconds. 3 gave you a minute. 4 gave you 3 minutes. None of it made sense. We got a new one a couple years ago with a dial on it that sets it for incrementally more time as you turn it. So much easier to understand without a player's guide.
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I worked at an American multinational company. When discussing the benefits they told me they had a parking garage. I didn't even have a car.
I can smell the microwaved fish and burnt popcorn from here.
Anytime I see a meme like this, it makes me greatful for the benefits the company I work for offers.
We don't have a microwave. I wish we did. And the coffee is about what you'd get at an average diner. We do have a subsidized cafeteria though. Lunch is typically around $2, and the food is pretty good.
4.5 day work week - we close at noon on Fridays. Free health insurance (employee and family) with low deductible and low out-of-pocket max. Free disability and life insurance. 3% 401k contribution (not a match but instant vested contribution). 6% to 12% yearly bonus. 1% holiday bonus. Vacation time isn't great starting off, something like 2 weeks, but scales over time to a decent amount.
Benefits are good enough that I'm not going to grumble too much about the mediocre coffee and lack of microwave.
hey, thats more than at my current job.
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