I like it when they put in perks things that are legally mandated. Oh wow this job comes with a pension, what a progressive company.
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2026
848 points (99.6% liked)
memes
23077 readers
2136 users here now
Community rules
1. Be civil
No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour
2. No politics
This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world
3. No recent reposts
Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month
4. No bots
No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins
5. No Spam/Ads/AI Slop
No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live. We also consider AI slop to be spam in this community and is subject to removal.
A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Sister communities
- !tenforward@lemmy.world : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
- !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world : Linux themed memes
- !comicstrips@lemmy.world : for those who love comic stories.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
My current job (school bus driver) has a pension, which is the first of any job I've ever had in my life (and I'm almost 60). It's another 5 years before I'm vested and get the pension, and I'm not sure I would bet on the job not having been replaced by AI before then. Hopefully not, since the pension would allow me to afford the brand-name dog food.
You do not want to know the situation in these airport ready rooms. Black mold has been sighted in the fridge/freezer, the ceilings are gross, the chairs are crumbling, and the water cooler hasn’t been checked in at least 10 years.
The pay sucks too.
Mine promised a water filter 2 years ago and they put the feed pipe in last week.
Sometimes the restrooms at my office are stocked with two ply toilet paper, instead of the one ply sandpaper stuff.
I challenge anyone to top that benefit.
Funny story, our company made a lot of money off of covid and they decided it was a great idea to purchase a floor at another building across the street just for VPs and execs. Cool. Once they left our bathrooms had the worst 1 ply toilet paper imaginable. Like you had to grab it gently and slowly pull otherwise it just ripped. Even doing this was still 50/50. Well bad decisions led to that floor being shutdown after only 2 years and they had to move back in with us. Immediately the toilet paper went back to the good stuff again. The fact that they treated TP as a luxery item and can't seem to afford the nicer stuff for everyone always made me wanna flick them off so bad. Jokes on all of us though since that fuckup was so bad we just found out the entire company was purchased and almost without a doubt we will all lose our jobs next year once finalized. Thanks a lot execs, you did an amazing job like usual.
They don't even bother with great anymore. It's all "competitive salary and competitive benefits". The highest they're aiming is matching the average.
That's why I really hate the "competitive" buzzword. It's like, alright... let's say it's a competition. Are you winning it? Because I can certainly compete against Michael Phelps at swimming, but that doesn't mean I'm any good.
What they don't wanna tell you is that they're all competing for "as low as they can get away with."
"HmMmMmm quite competitive! Yyyyeeess!!"
I recently became a corporate sellout after a lengthy stint in science. I do get a bit higher salary, but what struck me most is how much less competitive this environment is.
My company just got rid of the water cooler... it was apparently a subscription service costing the business $75 USD a week.
Last year our company attempted a merger the CEO and shareholders wanted but was pretty derided by industry experts and would challenge nearly century old Federal anti-trust regulations. We were almost immediately sued to stop the merger and its now been paused for more than a year, costing the company interest payments on the loans we took out to pay for it.
So far this year they downsized a whole department eliminating seven jobs including a middle manager type role, told us in not so many words that we were entering a period of deferred maintenance, and that corporate would be reevaluating cost of living adjustments for next year... the board is still planning stock buy backs and shareholder dividend payouts.
Management told us we have to cut back on "little luxuries" to which someone asked how the fuck water was a luxury. The economy is doing great!
I used to work as a contractor at the Comcast Center in Philadelphia. One day my boss (at my contracting company) came by and said we were going to a meeting with Time Warner Cable execs. I reached for my coat but he stopped me; we rode the elevator up to the 16th floor where Time Warner Cable had a suite of offices ... in the Comcast Center. A year or two later they announced plans for a merger of the two companies, which was somehow and mystifyingly stopped by the FCC. Like, they'd already merged essentially.
I don't understand why you would have a water cooler in the first place.
just put a fountain in?
edit: my regionality is showing. I assumed it wasn't plumbed in.
It pulled water from the tap instead of a bottle and had a filter, plus it had hot and cold options. It was a nice water cooler, but I wouldn't have called it a luxury and never thought it could cost $75 a week.
that costs about $125 if bought new. but the rental company should be cleaning it regularly for that price.
ah okay, so it was plumbed in. carry on
around here I've only ever referred to "cooler" as something that uses a tank.
now, even a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller and no fountain mouth piece, in which case it's back to a cooler, sometimes
a water dispenser that doesn't have a fountain is still called a fountain.. unless it actually has a chiller, in which case it's back to a fountain
So it's a fountain unless it has a chiller, in which case it's a fountain? 🤔
oops. I've been having a lot of brain farts lately
mine honestly does have good benefits though, £800/year pro-rata budget, and 30 days paid holiday
In France we have a meme where "public transport funding" or "health insurance" are listed as benefits, except they are mandatory according to the laws. Haha :(
It's like saying "paying our taxes" or "getting a salary" is listed as a benefit.
This happens in Australia with the mandatory pension contributions.
"Our amazing competitive salary package will meet mandatory minimum requirements"
Do you mean “funding” like they pay for the transit pass or funding like they pay taxes?
They pay for at least 50% of your transit pass
Damn that's an amazing deal compared to having to find 100% of my own transit costs
I have this absurd fantasy about being paid for my commuting time.
Well, it's part of your gross salary, so you end up paying it yourself indirectly.
Not to mention it's also cumbersome and bureaucratic. Though subsidizing public transport is a good idea, I wasn't a big fan of this implementation when I worked in France. It would be much more efficient to just subsidize local transport tickets directly, or just make it free of charge and save even more unnecessary costs in handling tickets, hiring ticket inspectors, etc.
I asked for a water cooler for our office. We had about 10 people working at the site, one suffered from kidney stones and I had gout. The nearest water cooler was two floors above us.
I asked my manager for a water cooler and he said no. He said if we got a water cooler, the people at the other sites would want one too.
The other two sites had only two people each, so it was different, but also, why the hell wouldn't you want them to have water too?
He got passed over for promotion and left when a prior subordinate became his supervisor. After he left the new manager asked me if we needed something, and I said we'd like to have a water cooler. She was both shocked that we were previously denied and surprised that water was what we needed to be happy. We've had the water cooler ever since.
You missed the opportunity to answer "strippers and steak".
Too many stripper recalls lately.
I was trying to get a slurpee machine next.
As Kirstie Allsopp says, 'A well-fed dog is a slow dog.'
~ Alan Partridge
'Only a psychopath calls the workers enriching them dogs.'
~ Janx
load more comments
(1 replies)
Forgot the 30 year old coffee maker, you have to bring your own beans tho
Only one microwave though and everyone has lunch at the same time.
We have 3 Keurigs in the breakroom, but you can only run one at a time because they'll blow the breaker...
And it’s a five minute walk to get there, but you have to clock in and out at your desk.
I'm a salary+comm role, and they wanted me to start clocking in and out. I said sure, but you'll have to pay me overtime. Guess who doesn't have to clock in and out. Sidenote, I also dont work overtime anymore.
load more comments
(6 replies)
That microwave is far too clean
They aren't going to use a current picture. Getting close enough would expose them to the smells.
I had a coworker that called the water dispenser ‘the company health plan’. Hope he’s doing alright now.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Don't forget the free "coffee" from a coffee blend you've never heard of in your life that exclusively comes in 1lb commercial tins, and does unquestionable internal damage for every cup you drink.
load more comments
(7 replies)
My manager refused to get us a new fridge for our lunches when the ancient one we had died. 10K bonus a year though, she collected that.
I can smell the microwaved fish and burnt popcorn from here.
I worked at an American multinational company. When discussing the benefits they told me they had a parking garage. I didn't even have a car.
Minimum effort for maximum expectations.
in this economy
We're Highly competitive:
[image of paycheck]
Lucky one.
view more: next ›