this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2026
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[–] Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Fucking nightmare.

On my last corpo job onboarding there were about 50 new starters and the HR lady pulled out a microphone and asked everyone to share something interesting about themselves as an ice breaker.

You could hear the cringe in the air. I just said that I like coffee.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 23 hours ago

You know what's fuckin' wild? I've literally only ever had to do these dumbass "team-building exercises" that treat you like a toddler in kindergarten at jobs where you never actually work as a god damn team. Meanwhile, every job that required working with others in some meaningful way just threw you into the grinder and let you figure it out.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 23 hours ago

We had one where we had to share a fun fact about our names. I opened with "actually I've got a fake name" and freaked out my boss, it was fun. My ancestor made up a fake name while emigrating over a century ago.

[–] scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.org 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

How can you tell? Is it the balloon?

I never notice these things... Is there a game on the internet where you have to detect ai images

[–] CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today 2 points 18 hours ago

Yes the balloon is phasing into the chair and also zoom in at the picture of the people giving each other high fives. The guy on the far right, arms don't work like that.

[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago (3 children)

partially the balloon, but also the "mandatory fun" poster is way too on-the-nose - nobody working in HR is self-aware enough to do that

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago

I didn't think of that. If i worked in HR I'd totally do this.

[–] MufinMcFlufin@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

I just figured it with being so on the nose that it was from an episode of The Office or something like that.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's important to remember that while HR as an institution exists to prevent lawsuits, most people go into HR because they like humans.

[–] SpaghettiMaster@feddit.uk 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

If they like humans then why are they like this?

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 22 hours ago

Because most of them don't become the head of HR.

[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The text is also a bit weird

But yes, the balloon inside the chair is the telltale

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would love to learn what stands out about the text. Is it the margins on the paper?

[–] modus@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

AI has a tendency to make focus points of their prompts and put them "front and center."

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

I don't even know if I could put it into words... It's too bold and clear compared to the rest of the stuff in the scene.

I also think there's something about the angle the supposed photo was taken from that would make the text look subtly distorted in some way, and it's not.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Everything looks pretty convincing until you see the balloon magically phasing through the chair.

[–] Dagobah@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Headless Mike, Suzie long arms and Johnny the two right Wonder Boy didn't tip you off?

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

Wow that was a jump scare when I zoomed in.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The door frame also has two completely different latches and paint colors on either side.

[–] Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Non-standard paper sizes (specifically our right, with the emojis) tipped me off

[–] pageflight@piefed.social 49 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Scary, but not quite as bad as: Meeting invite: no title, later this morning, attendees are your manager and HR. (That is, layoffs.)

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 60 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My wife was laid off at the begging of the month and it went something like this. The HR girl went to her table and asked her and other coworker to come with her to a meeting room. In the meeting room was other HR person who asked the three of them to sit and told them that they were laid off, including the HR lady that came for my wife.

[–] TipRing@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago

I have also had this one be 1. Someone has died in the office. 2. You senior manager / director was fired for corruption and HR wants to question everyone for involvement.

[–] drcobaltjedi@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago

When I was fired my boss just told me to come with him for a minute. Knew right then I was being fired. He lead me down to the conference room and HR is sitting there only cementing my thought.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 36 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Two truths and a lie is psychological abuse.

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"My name is aeronmelon, I work here, and I'm happy to be at this meeting."

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That’s something I would definitely say.

Thus making two of those things a lie.

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (3 children)

tell us a fun fact about yourself

I love these questions because I use it as an excuse to "trauma dump" things to the group and act like it's the most normal thing ever.

of course none of it was true, but man...did I sell it enough that they never asked the groups I was in those kinds of questions again.

example

I found out when I was 7 that I was able to dislocate my shoulder when my father yanked on my arm hard enough when he caught me sneaking food. it was cool while I was in school because I could get out of gym and not have to explain all the bruising on my back in the locker room. I can't do it anymore as it's just too painful to pop it back into place. 😁

everyone else 😶😬😐😟

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Hey did I tell you guys about that time I got arrested?"

"That wasn't on your background check? 😬!"

"I got it expunged 😉"

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"I learned how to lay bricks when I was 10 because when mum hung herself dad made us brick up the closet where she did it so we would never be able to go in there where the demon who made her do it would do it to us too. My favorite part was mixing the cement with the trowel, it's so satisfying."

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[–] albbi@piefed.ca 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I quite enjoyed Mandatory Fun!

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

ha. the only balloon is deflated

[–] urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

lol the balloon is phasing into the chair because it’s the one thing tha ai didn’t get close

Edit: wait sorry, second thing

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[–] DonJefe@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A fun fact about myself is that I hate being forced to tell other people fun facts about myself

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[–] spicytoast@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

Severance vibes

[–] Napster153@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Where did you get this CIA blacksite room photo?

[–] TomMasz@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (4 children)

If there's a Hell, this is what I imagine it would look like.

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[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago

"I know a lot of uncomfortable trivia due to hyperfixation caused by ADHD and your reaction to it is more of a you problem" then a blank stare.

[–] Rezurektme@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

This is spiking my anxiety.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

Corporate spared no expense, there's water and cookies!

[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

'Everyday I come to work I want to kill myself'

[–] Sergio@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

Nah. It's Two Truths and a Lie. So I'd be like:

  • "Every Monday I come to work I want to kill myself."
  • "Every Tuesday I come to work I want to kill myself."
  • "Every Wednesday I come to work I want to kill myself."
[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For fun, instead of 'two truths and a lie', give them three lies. But make them plausible.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago

My dear doctor, it's all true.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 8 points 1 day ago

Chairs are a bit too far apart

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