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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Fucking nightmare.
On my last corpo job onboarding there were about 50 new starters and the HR lady pulled out a microphone and asked everyone to share something interesting about themselves as an ice breaker.
You could hear the cringe in the air. I just said that I like coffee.
You know what's fuckin' wild? I've literally only ever had to do these dumbass "team-building exercises" that treat you like a toddler in kindergarten at jobs where you never actually work as a god damn team. Meanwhile, every job that required working with others in some meaningful way just threw you into the grinder and let you figure it out.
How can you tell? Is it the balloon?
I never notice these things... Is there a game on the internet where you have to detect ai images
Yes the balloon is phasing into the chair and also zoom in at the picture of the people giving each other high fives. The guy on the far right, arms don't work like that.
partially the balloon, but also the "mandatory fun" poster is way too on-the-nose - nobody working in HR is self-aware enough to do that
I didn't think of that. If i worked in HR I'd totally do this.
I just figured it with being so on the nose that it was from an episode of The Office or something like that.
It's important to remember that while HR as an institution exists to prevent lawsuits, most people go into HR because they like humans.
If they like humans then why are they like this?
Because most of them don't become the head of HR.
The text is also a bit weird
But yes, the balloon inside the chair is the telltale
Everything looks pretty convincing until you see the balloon magically phasing through the chair.
Headless Mike, Suzie long arms and Johnny the two right Wonder Boy didn't tip you off?
Wow that was a jump scare when I zoomed in.
The door frame also has two completely different latches and paint colors on either side.
Non-standard paper sizes (specifically our right, with the emojis) tipped me off
Scary, but not quite as bad as: Meeting invite: no title, later this morning, attendees are your manager and HR. (That is, layoffs.)
My wife was laid off at the begging of the month and it went something like this. The HR girl went to her table and asked her and other coworker to come with her to a meeting room. In the meeting room was other HR person who asked the three of them to sit and told them that they were laid off, including the HR lady that came for my wife.
I have also had this one be 1. Someone has died in the office. 2. You senior manager / director was fired for corruption and HR wants to question everyone for involvement.
When I was fired my boss just told me to come with him for a minute. Knew right then I was being fired. He lead me down to the conference room and HR is sitting there only cementing my thought.
We had one where we had to share a fun fact about our names. I opened with "actually I've got a fake name" and freaked out my boss, it was fun. My ancestor made up a fake name while emigrating over a century ago.
Two truths and a lie is psychological abuse.
"My name is aeronmelon, I work here, and I'm happy to be at this meeting."
That’s something I would definitely say.
Thus making two of those things a lie.
ha. the only balloon is deflated
lol the balloon is phasing into the chair because it’s the one thing the ai didn’t get close
Edit: wait sorry, second thing
I quite enjoyed Mandatory Fun!
tell us a fun fact about yourself
I love these questions because I use it as an excuse to "trauma dump" things to the group and act like it's the most normal thing ever.
of course none of it was true, but man...did I sell it enough that they never asked the groups I was in those kinds of questions again.
example
I found out when I was 7 that I was able to dislocate my shoulder when my father yanked on my arm hard enough when he caught me sneaking food. it was cool while I was in school because I could get out of gym and not have to explain all the bruising on my back in the locker room. I can't do it anymore as it's just too painful to pop it back into place. 😁
everyone else 😶😬😐😟
"Hey did I tell you guys about that time I got arrested?"
"That wasn't on your background check? 😬!"
"I got it expunged 😉"
~~“I got it expunged 😉”~~ "it was last weekend😉"
ftfy
I bow to the master.
Severance vibes
A fun fact about myself is that I hate being forced to tell other people fun facts about myself
"I know a lot of uncomfortable trivia due to hyperfixation caused by ADHD and your reaction to it is more of a you problem" then a blank stare.
This is spiking my anxiety.
Where did you get this CIA blacksite room photo?
Corporate spared no expense, there's water and cookies!
For fun, instead of 'two truths and a lie', give them three lies. But make them plausible.
My dear doctor, it's all true.
Chairs are a bit too far apart
I'd love to know how the person who came up with that idea was raised. Are they completely oblivious to social interaction? Are they missing a fundamental piece of neurology?