memes

Scary, but not quite as bad as: Meeting invite: no title, later this morning, attendees are your manager and HR. (That is, layoffs.)

Fucking nightmare.

On my last corpo job onboarding there were about 50 new starters and the HR lady pulled out a microphone and asked everyone to share something interesting about themselves as an ice breaker.

You could hear the cringe in the air. I just said that I like coffee.

Two truths and a lie is psychological abuse.

ha. the only balloon is deflated

I quite enjoyed Mandatory Fun!

tell us a fun fact about yourself

I love these questions because I use it as an excuse to "trauma dump" things to the group and act like it's the most normal thing ever.

of course none of it was true, but man...did I sell it enough that they never asked the groups I was in those kinds of questions again.

example

I found out when I was 7 that I was able to dislocate my shoulder when my father yanked on my arm hard enough when he caught me sneaking food. it was cool while I was in school because I could get out of gym and not have to explain all the bruising on my back in the locker room. I can't do it anymore as it's just too painful to pop it back into place. 😁

everyone else 😶😬😐😟

You know what's fuckin' wild? I've literally only ever had to do these dumbass "team-building exercises" that treat you like a toddler in kindergarten at jobs where you never actually work as a god damn team. Meanwhile, every job that required working with others in some meaningful way just threw you into the grinder and let you figure it out.

Severance vibes

We had one where we had to share a fun fact about our names. I opened with "actually I've got a fake name" and freaked out my boss, it was fun. My ancestor made up a fake name while emigrating over a century ago.

If there's a Hell, this is what I imagine it would look like.

"I know a lot of uncomfortable trivia due to hyperfixation caused by ADHD and your reaction to it is more of a you problem" then a blank stare.

This is spiking my anxiety.

A fun fact about myself is that I hate being forced to tell other people fun facts about myself

Corporate spared no expense, there's water and cookies!

For fun, instead of 'two truths and a lie', give them three lies. But make them plausible.

Chairs are a bit too far apart

I'd love to know how the person who came up with that idea was raised. Are they completely oblivious to social interaction? Are they missing a fundamental piece of neurology?

Where did you get this CIA blacksite room photo?

'Everyday I come to work I want to kill myself'