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Normally, I am fine with people having kinks. However, choking is straight up bad, on account of actually damaging a key part of the body. Backdoor action involving toys is good fun when they are appropriate for the job - but there is no such thing for the neck.
Please, just don't. Spank your partner with a crop, give em' titty twists, do waxplay, pretend at rape if they have a safeword - but just don't risk their wellbeing. Their lives are literally in your hands if you go for the throat. 🫤
You can chokehold without cutting much oxygen. Just pressing in om the side / back with your fingers, not at the front aswell as gripping a bit higher on the neck.
Depends what the kink is i guess. If you literally want to be choked then yeah that’s dangerous. But if you just like to be held / hold there are pretty safe ways to do that
On the side is where the carotid arteries are. I suspect that blood going the brain might be a slightly important.
I think it depends on how close to full choking you get. Gentle to moderate, broadly dispersed "chokingesque" pressure is fine as it doesn't significantly interrupt blood flow. Using enough force or concentrating force to occlude the carotid arteries is asking for trouble.
Not only is there the risk of ischemic brain damage, the carotid sinus, located where pressure is often placed, is prone to arterial plaque formation due to increased turbulence. Disrupting those plaques can break them loose, causing a stroke. That's how a mate of mine lost much of the use of his right arm, though I suspect he wasn't getting choked out. Never asked though.
Monika doesn't consent either.
Giving your partner brain damage is so sexy!
My partners come with that, or else they wouldn't be interested in me.
can't even have a woman sit on your face in the UK. It's a shame.
Justin Hancock, a sex educator …
Ooof
My man had two options either be an important figure in a revolution or become a sex educator, he clearly went for the later.
And people protested this by having a mess face sitting session outside of parliament.
But seriously, I'm trapped on this acursed archipelago. I hate the British Government so much.
Have you considered raising Doggerland once more? Mayhaps becoming a peninsula would improve things, assuming the Dutch don't claim it all.
I'm Scottish. I voted for independence once and I'm more than willing to do it again.
I won’t stand for this!
That’s okay, you’re not supposed to stand
(unless the woman is very very tall)
Oi mate ! Got a loicense for that arse ?
is that Sayori from DDLC?
On a choking meme, to boot?
Yeah, someone from the UK told me just yesterday you could go to jail for it. It's absurd.
I hear of more and more young women who are foregoing relationships and one big reason is the pornification of sex. It seems that no one born into the always online porn generation has real old fashioned sex anymore. It's all porn mimicry. And not surprisingly, the majority of women don't enjoy it since most porn isn't about women's enjoyment but their degradation and pain.
Many moons ago there were intelligent people advocating for a serious upgrade to the sex ed programs. The usual idiots shut it down of course, but the idea was that, among other things, we need to teach sex ed in an age of online porn. Accept that kids who want sex will get sex, and that kids who want porn will find porn. Start teaching them that porn is as much fake, pandering entertainment as the WWE. Scripted, planned, consent and paperwork ahead of time, body makeup, dick makeup, permanent makeup under the runny makeup, they don’t show the prep, they don’t always show the lube. The orgasms are mostly fake (even the guys). Most women don’t like to be slapped or choked, especially without asking permission. In fact most women don’t want anything done to them that you don’t want want done to you.
My advice for young people, and really everyone, is that you someone can’t talk about sex and go buy condoms, they aren’t ready for sex. Communication about it before, during, and after makes for the best experience. Also, you can like things in porn that you wouldn’t do in real life.
This was the advice I was given as a young man by my dad.
He told me that porn is an accurate as depiction of sex as Commando is an accurate as depiction of warfare.
But the importance of having a pithy one-liner ready to go whenever you finish someone off is real and true in both cases.
As someone who has experienced neither, I agree!
Meh, it shouldn't be normalised, it's degrading and copy cats will absolutely do it in non consensual ways. This is well into the realm of BDSM, and needs clearly established consent, not some move that people will pull out at random because they saw it in a screen
I absolutely agree on the consent bit, but it already seems to be well and truly normalised IMO. Banning it in porn is madness though - those with healthy boundaries already understand porn isn't real life, and those who don't aren't going to suddenly learn about consent if we ban certain (arbitrary) acts. The correct measure, as usual, is to invest in proper sex education instead of prohibition.
If you ask medical professionals , nearly any amount of choking is pretty unsafe/not worth the risk.
Obviously putting your hands there and pretending isn't a problem, bit anything harder carries substantial risk.
Speaking anecdotally, at least 50% of my previous girlfriends have enjoyed it and even encouraged it. One even taught me the safe way to choke them. That being said, my current girlfriend is very much not a fan. I don't really care either way, whatever gets them off
Anyone who wants to get into anything even remotely BDSM-y should have mandatory reading of Sunstone first.
There's a character there who lost her hands because she wanted to impress her dom boyfriend and tied herself to the bed with self-tightening knots. The boyfriend - not aware of the fact - was home late. By that time she lost strength in her arms, the knots tightened and cut off blood-flow and her hands had to be amputated.
This shit is sexy and hot, but dangerous if performed by unaware/inexperienced people.
awful lot of pearl clutching on lemmy.