this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2026
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cross-posted from: https://discuss.online/post/48201538

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/friendship-2

Alt textLater it turns out to be a gay bar, and things go better than expected.

Bonus panelBonus panel

all 47 comments
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[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 21 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

The friends you made as a kid were usually people you had to hang around with every single day. School, clubs, the neighborhood, etc.

Making friends as an adult is only harder because the only people you have to hang around with every day are at work, and that's not always the people you want to spend more time with outside of work.

So if you don't want to make friends with your coworkers, find another place to hang out with people on a regular basis. Volunteer, join a club, take classes, go to church, go to the gym, or do something that YOU find interesting. Make sure you go regularly and chat with the other people who are doing that activity regularly.

The most important thing is you don't join that activity only to make friends, but because you genuinely want to do it. If you want to be there, and the other people want to be there, then you already have a connection that you can build on.

The main thing to realize is that you don't have to spend money to make friends. You just have to figure out how to be in the same space as other people over and over again. That can be difficult for a lot of people, but it is possible.

[–] StellarExtract@lemmy.zip 3 points 37 minutes ago (1 children)

I think the problem for me is that going and doing things like that regularly requires a lot of time, which would mean I would have to sacrifice my own projects or sacrifice time with my kid, both of which I don't want to do. I don't really want to make friends with coworkers, because I tend to consider them a liability. Relationships can change, and as you get to know someone you can find out things about them that stops you from wanting to be friends (they're a secret republican, etc). If a work friendship goes south, you now have a potentially hostile coworker with intimate knowledge about your life, which can directly impact your livelihood. Sooo I have like three friends, each of whom are from my twenties or earlier, and two of whom live hundreds of miles away. I'm not unhappy, though.

[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 2 points 14 minutes ago (1 children)

When I was growing up, almost all of my parents friends were other parents at my activities. Bring your kid to stuff and meet the other parents. You don't have to sacrifice time with your family to also make friends.

Tho I'm in no position to tell you how to run your life. You can do whatever you want.

[–] StellarExtract@lemmy.zip 1 points 17 seconds ago

Yeah, he's just getting to the age where that's starting to be feasible, so we will see how it goes!

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 1 points 21 minutes ago

I’m just going to keep some gum on me.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 141 points 4 hours ago (8 children)

Pick a coworker you don't hate.

Ask if they want to join you for lunch.

If they agree, invite them again. Re-invite until it's expected. Have them bring coworkers they don't hate, or more likely they'll bring people to you. All of a sudden, you have a friend group.

Now, start talking about workplace grievances. When your friend group is agitated to the point of mobilizing, you have yourself a union organizing committee

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 2 hours ago

Though if you do this, be careful not to shit talk about other coworkers or management because you never know when someone will turn on you to get ahead in their career. Or if you must complain about work stuff, at least try to keep it to things you'd be ok with the other parties hearing about. Which is a decent rule of thumb in general.

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 hours ago

This happened to my coworker (not with me) who didn't realize until after that it was a date.

[–] Pixel_Jock_17@piefed.ca 14 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I did this once. It worked well, still talk to most of those people from time to time since ive left that job.

My issue was the near daily expectation of going out for lunch. Like who's made of money like that? Not going for lunch allows me to save like $100 a week now.

[–] Markus29@lemmy.today 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

This may be a local thing but grabbing something you can eat on the move and taking a walk with your coworkers is a good alternative to eating out every time.

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 1 points 31 minutes ago

That's fine once in a while, but in general, please do try to sit down somewhere and eat without distractions if you can, especially if you already have weight issues. You will feel satiated sooner and are not as prone to overeating.

[–] voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 52 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Do you really hate all of your coworkers, or do you despise your job so much that any inconvenience is attributed to the messenger and not the boss

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 44 minutes ago

Por que no los dos?

[–] frog@feddit.uk 16 points 4 hours ago

I read it that they don't have coworkers.

[–] architect@thelemmy.club 11 points 3 hours ago (4 children)

Nah that’s just work friends. Those aren’t real friends. You will lose them when you change jobs.

Go to the same place every day. Become a part of the scenery. Eventually people will approach you because you are familiar. Invite them to take a seat. Friends.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 3 points 54 minutes ago

Nah, I have made real friends at work. If I leave my current job, I will absolutely keep in touch with my coworker. We are fully remote, but I will make him game with me if we stop working together. He's too chill for me to lose touch with.

Other people at work I considered friends I did eventually lose touch with, but I went to one of their weddings, and had a great time caught up with a lot of my old coworkers.

I agree, coworkers aren't always friends, but you spend a good chunk of your life there. If you don't make friends with some of them, you're losing out and making things more difficult for yourself.

Nobody is expected to make work friends, but if you don't t least have one or two, you'll be more miserable at work.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 5 points 2 hours ago

Oh man, I have many life-long friends from previous jobs. Whether this happens to you totally depends on where you work and the culture there, as well as how open you are and how often you reach out to people to organize stuff

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Work friends become real friends once you turn the work-friend group into an organizing committee. I still have dozens of friends from my previous job, because we were organizing together

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 hours ago

Man, I just remembered to text the folks who went out for beers after work when I found a new job, and we're still friends and have all mostly quit drinking.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 hours ago

I made lots of permanent friends at one of my jobs, but I didn't have a long commute or anything, we live 20 minutes apart only because they had a commute

I guess that's one down side of a fully remote job.

[–] yucandu@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

I tried this but then the friend group all agreed that I was a piece of shit and kicked me out.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 12 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

honestly, one of my best friends i've made as an adult, he was introducing himself at a meeting. he told an incredibly geeky linguistics joke about his name. i was probably the only person who laughed. after the meeting, i introduced myself and said "we should be friends". that's about all it took to start the relationship

[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 16 points 3 hours ago

Friendships are hard in adulthood because of a myriad of reasons but its primarily that adults have a higher bar of trust needed so you need to build rapport slowly over time.

Its made extra bad today because everyone is working all the time but is too broke to visit social places weekly or more which is largely required for that rapport.

Can you be friendly by offering someone some gum and make them like you more in that moment? Sure. But try getting their contact information at the end of your social encounter and you'll find its more of a crapshoot if you get any, and even if you do whether you actually stay in regular contact anyway.

[–] axh@lemmy.world 47 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

Version updated for adults: "I have an Ibuprofen, wanna be friends?"

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Do you have anything stronger?

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I dunno, let's see what the boot of my car has to say, baaabeeeeeehhhhh

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Where the hell is my husband?

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 2 hours ago

I dunno, let's see what the boot of my car has to say, laaaddeeeeeeeh

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

I have some Rizatriptan

[–] Oizys@quokk.au 5 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Alternatively: "wanna take a drag on my blunt?", and just like that you'll have someone who'll be there whenever you need help to move a solid oak dresser.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 2 points 42 minutes ago

I haven't gotten high in more than five years. I miss the social aspect of it more than anything else. It's what made disc golf such a great hobby.

[–] Blooper@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

Yes, please.

[–] Stefan_S_from_H@piefed.zip 1 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Only in countries where people don't read the side effects.

[–] Corn@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 hours ago

Ibuprofen is fine for short-term use.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Your paracetamol is no better, just hurts a different organ.

[–] Stefan_S_from_H@piefed.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Where have I mentioned paracetamol?❓❓

[–] Shayeta@feddit.org 2 points 2 hours ago

Codeine is where it's at.

[–] Caption_Mo@reddthat.com 18 points 4 hours ago

Everybody likes the guy who offers them a stick of gum.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I wonder how effective standing on a busy street corner wearing a sandwich board that says "wanna be friends?" would be. πŸ€”

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean if Die Hard 2 is any indication, I'd say you find at least one person who doesn't want you to immediately vaporise

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I think you mean With a Vengeance (which was the 3rd one).

Also now I am thinking about that scene playing out in the opposite way where a group of dudes is coming over to be my friend and then one random dude comes over and fucks everything up 🀣

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 1 points 2 hours ago

"Dammit man, can't you see I'm fine -- shoo!"

[–] abc@suppo.fi 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

This could actually work. The first few times anyway.

[–] stephner74@lemmy.world -3 points 1 hour ago

Ok,on my part I would say pay her bill and boom you got her But only 20% stay for love others just want you to sort the bill for a long term And that's reality