this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2025
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/34251508

I resigned a few months ago from my first post-graduation position as a lawyer in a major public institution where I had previously interned. When I arrived at the job, I started helping senior-lawyers as my main task. After an atypical re-shuffle, I —still the newest hire— was handed an entire senior-level portfolio while also being required to keep assisting every colleague in the unit. My deputy head then began sending me (and only me) on out-of-state trips without coverage, leaving my own files untouched. Workdays stretched past twelve hours as unfinished tasks from others were routinely left on my desk. When I flagged the overload, he blamed my competence; when I took certified medical leave, he publicly threatened to replace me. For all the above, I then began to take my time, if I was already the last to leave, I started to clear myself talking to my colleagues time to time, to go out and smoke a couple of times and arrive 10 or 15 minutes later than usual (also taking into account that the official entry time was at 8 and my boss could arrive until 10, then he made us arrive at 10 and, therefore, leave later), but always finishing my job; things that did not seem to my boss and he started complaining about them. Exit negotiations turned hostile, and I ultimately chose health and dignity over an unsustainable role.

Now, after a couple of months, I need the job back because of economic and personal problems. I would not be with the same boss, but in order to get the job back, I would have to talk to my former boss first, because she will be asked if my job was good while I worked with her and if she had any problems with me.

Any recommendations to talk to her?

⬆️ UPDATE: I talked to my former boss and she told me that she's gonna be honest when the boss ask to her about me. She told me the positive and the negative comments that she has about me and I think I have more positive comments than negative. Also, I think that the negative ones are not that bad.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

i would just find another job, the fact the boss and you dint have end on good terms, its only going to make a toxic workplace, if you're a lawyer, surely arnt there other firms you can work with ? or other instiuitions? or yourself? its basically asking your ex if you can move in with them, after you broke with them.

[–] FreedomAdvocate 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You're not getting that job back lol.

Also in my experience the people that claim stuff like you are claiming were as much, or more, to blame for the problems as who they claim was.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not worth it. Seriously. Tell the new employer your previous boss was abusive, if they want their opinion, likely they already know this.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 8 hours ago

on Op cv/resume, i would just say previous employer does not want to be a reference/LOR.

[–] BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You think you'll get it back after that?

Lol

[–] erysisntsyre@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Well, I talk to a boss of the boss of my former boss hahaha and he told me that he can help me and that it is possible indeed, but the comments of my former boss are crucial. He knows that I deliver a great work, that's why he will be willing to help me.

So it's a possibility!

Last time my former boss and I talked, we said to each other that everything is in good terms, but I think it was more of a superficial thing than a real thing.

[–] BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then the simple option is to just go back and ask for a job. Be friendly, pretend none of the bad stuff happened. Say positive things.

If you can get through it that is. Take all your strength and be graceful and naive for a day. If she talks shit about you and it doesn't make sense to the Interviewer they might disregard your former boss.

It will take a lot tho.

A little late, but if you have ppl over her head that have a positive opinion of your work, and the hiring manager is looking for info on your work, you could just explain the situation to the hiring manager and ask if one of the even higher ups opinion would be acceptable? If no, gonna have to play very nice with the old manager, and I still might recommend explaining the situation to the hiring manager in case of a bad reference behind your back

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 9 points 1 day ago

Man law just seems like it's wall to wall psychopath partners

[–] wirelesswire@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Contacting your previous manager would likely be problematic, especially if you didn't leave on good terms. I would contact the new hiring manager and explain the situation, and that you would prefer minimal contact with your previous manager, if possible. Were any of the previous issues documented? That could be helpful now. Also if you could, contact any previous colleagues you had a good rapport with and ask them to give a recommendation for you.

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dumb question: wouldn't working anywhere else be better? I think back on all of my jobs and I would rather work at McDonald's than the one where I was paid $210k. Maybe there is something (even temporary) that can fill the gap while you find a better fit.

[–] wirelesswire@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, most likely. OP didn't give details, but maybe that's the only position in their area they are qualified for that offers a salary that meets their living expenses. There's also the possibility that the company is overall good to work for and it was just shitty manager/team they were stuck with before. I agree that taking a pay cut can oftentimes be better overall if the new job is easier to handle, but we all have bills to pay, and sometimes the lower salary just won't cut it.

[–] erysisntsyre@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That's exactly it! It's a good job, in a dream government institution in my country, with good payment (maybe long working hours), but overall is a good job. I just had the bad luck to be with a shitty manager.

Also, salaries are shit in my country, you can't even afford a room in an apartment and food at the same time with your first post-graduation job as a lawyer, so losing that job is a big loss.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I would not be with the same boss, but in order to get the job back, I would have to talk to my former boss first, because she will be asked if my job was good while I worked with her and if she had any problems with me.

It doesn't sound like talking to her was successful while you worked there, do you really think you will persuade her to give a better response than just ignoring it until it comes up? Someone who did the things you described is going to do whatever they want.

It is always possible your new boss already knows to ignore whatever opinion your first boss has.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Just go into work like normal and pretend nothing happened :>