Alternatively, is it possible to survive by eating only ass?
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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Cuttlefish and asparagus, or vanilla bean paste?
No, medically speaking, this is how you get Assburgers Syndrome.
A loud 'HA' literally burst out of me involuntarily.
Boooooooo.
[clicks upvote arrow]
But what if you stick to pasta?
Only if its nice and al dente.
Something new to try for Thanksgiving:
That's horrific. Is that Martha Stewart?
Yes it’s from the how to eat with your butt Southpark
Apropos.
From Wikipedia:
A variety of different mixes have been used for nutrient enemas throughout history. A paper published in Nature in 1926 stated that because the rectum and lower digestive tractlack digestive enzymes, it is likely that only the end-products of normal digestion such as sugars, amino acids, salt and alcohol, will be absorbed.[8]
Plus I think you’d have no lipid absorption, so you could probably survive longer than starvation, but I’m guessing not “quite some” time.
Damn, that is tragic.
I suppose one could decide to consume ass-absorbable nutrients only by enema, and supplement the incompatible nutrients orally. That won't be pure ass, but half a loaf is better than no bread.
That won't be pure ass
So, half-assed, you say?
Just here to appreciate your linguistic prose.
I feel like there is a limit on "no stupid questions", and you flew past it at 100mph with that latin music drive-by meme.
Latin music drive-by meme? I tried looking for it but didn't find anything resembling that.
Also, there should be no limit to stupidity ;)
Latin might not have been the best descriptor, and this one is dumb https://www.tiktok.com/@meg__legs/video/7229005319286885675
🤣 I don't think I'd be able to come up with a better descriptor either.
(same video here for those who understandably don't want to open tiktok)
Bless you!
No. Your stomach and small intestine absorb most of the nutrients, your large intestine absorbs mostly water.
Yes.
For how long? Science doesn't know yet.
We can finally put a number on it when Musk passes.
Most people survive only talking out their ass, so I dont see why not
You shouldn't make fun of a serious medical condition.
You can breathe through your rectum, too, technically; but it's not fast enough at getting oxygen in your system to keep you from suffocating.
I am suspecting that eating food that way may have the same issue. It almost certainly would not break up normal food enough without saliva, chewing, and stomach acids, limiting thr nutrients you can absorb, too.
TIL. Apparently there were studies done using an oxygen-enriched enema potentially for drowned people to resuscitate them. Didn't work lol.
I'm not thinking about actual undigested food, but special food "slurry", with nutrients specifically arranged and concentrated for maximum absorption.
But your rectum does not absorb any oxygen
Look up the term "enteral ventilation via anus."
Oh fuck, I've been eating wrong this whole time
If we could eat through our arse, we'd all be living forever.