this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason. And no matter what reason they can come up with there will always be a downside that is substantially worse.

[–] Foni@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason.

Porn, the reason ir porn

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I got kinks I won't admit to a soul, but human waste elimination is on the opposite end of my horny meter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

So... eating human waste?!

[–] pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Even for someone who’s into piss, corporate sponsored non consensual voyeur should be a turnoff.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean a pinpoint accurate bidet that is assured of 100% clean. It does make me think of that little robot asking rick what its purpose is though.

[–] markko@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's what came to mind for me too. Just a spray nozzle responding to immediate input from the camera with no networking and no storage attached. I probably still wouldn't buy one though haha

[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I think a heat sensor would do just as well since the butthole is hotter. Unless there's some rogue splashes, in which case it might work on low res/high contrast to avoid identifying video. Or maybe lidar, but then it might just shoot the pimples.

All I know is if we start training AI bidet cameras on millions of videos of dirty assholes we're going to get a version of skynet no one is prepared for.

[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 32 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If I want to take pictures of my butthole I have a camera for that already

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 19 points 1 month ago

This is where you advertise your onlyfans

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

They say the camera points down, but that makes me wonder...what about the reflections?? Oh god, the reflections

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

the only real use for a selfie stick

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Just be careful not to do the phone in the toilet

[–] BorisBoreUs@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Adult Swim pioneered this over a decade ago with SmartPipe

[–] wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

And remember, ~~SmartPipe~~ Kohler is definitely not a PDF file!

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The part that bothers me isn't so much that someone came up with the idea that they could sell a toilet camera marketed as a health app.

It's that it made it far enough to actually be produced and sold. Which means someone tried to go the route of making it a medical device, was told "No" for some reason or another, but said "you know what, there's still money to be made here" and they found people that had no problem making it. If they did have a problem making it, I suspect they no longer work for the teams making it. But because it's here, they found enough people to go "ok whatever."

And that's how we end up with the modern dystopia.

[–] DevoidWisdom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year. I'm happy that they are finding really amazing, break through products to offer us. Surely this is the continued excellence we can expect from the ai frenzy. Wow!

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Wait till you get the AI powered shitter.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That I could go for. It might actually help people with special needs.

This is just crap (pun intended)

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year.

you can get patrons on OnlyFans to examine your poops and make money! Ask me how I made $2000 a month!

[–] beatnixxx@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Beep boop. That's poop.

- My futuristic robotoilet reluctantly watching me shit in its mouth

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

First solid laugh of the day!

"Take it! SWALLOW!"

<sad computer beeps>

"WHARRGARBL"

[–] HexadecimalSky@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Seeing the comments makes me think, what happens employers start using this sort of texh trying to optimise bathroom breaks or something

[–] chickenf622@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Of fucking course you need to have their app to get any useful data from it. I certainly trust a plumbing manufacturer to have solid cybersecurity, and there certainly won't be any data breaches of people's poop data. When do you think we're gonna get FOSS poop cameras?

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Maybe open a feature request for buttplug.io

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just wait for the leaked videos of people's hairy bags and their turds coming out

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not especially useful until the advent of RRC (rectal recognition cameras)

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

See the adult swim skit from about 10 years ago

[–] pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’ll have to pay extra for added security measures.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

" Mr. Sanchez, before I let you into this country, you need to explain a large fecal mass on September 23 that looks like our Vice President...was this a political statement?"

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

maybe, if we turn it upside down, we can use it to unlock paired phones with sphincterprint

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago
[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 6 points 1 month ago

And they're uploaded to their AWS server for analysis I hope

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Or, and bear with me on this, we could educate people on basic matters of health. Crazy, I know! But what if?

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I don't need a video recording of my bathroom habits to tell me I need more fiber and more water. Or remind me that liquid bread satisfies neither.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago

There was a webcomic about Google doing this and then selling the data to advertisers. These guys are just ahead of Google (or looking to bought by Google).

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I recommend this hilarious book instead

What's Your Poo Telling You?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Can't they invent a mouth camera instead, I bet lots of bad health could be prevented with a smart one (smart like plain old smart, not "connected").