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Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes
A long as no one fucks the herpes monkey we should be fine.
in Mississippi
Shit.
That are three fresh epidemics for the price of one.
I feel like I should check on the story in about 28 days…
Witnesses of the crash:
So, reading the short article, only one infected monkey escaped, per the sheriff's office. Then the University they are from clarified that their infected monkeys are not contagious, and there were no infected monkeys on that truck.
The monkeys are for primate virology research.
Nice reminder of just how hard spun headlines are.
Oh most definitely. But I won't let that get in the way of having a good laugh.
To be fair to the original poster this news article has been revised multiple times since original publication. When it was first posted the article contents very much matched the headline but subsequent changes were made that included things like the clarifications from the university.
RFK Jr will be very worried that his newly recruited team for the health and human services department had an accident whilst travelling to their new government offices.
Those monkeys are significantly more qualified than any of his current picks.
clears throat WHY?!?!
To give Hollywood some fresh material
This seems adjacent to the plot of Outbreak though
Nice
451 is a great error code. It's a reference to Fahrenheit 451, and is used to indicate government censorship. In this case it's being used all wrong, and almost ironic in nature.
418 is a fun one too. "I'm a teapot"
418 is always a little disappointing though. Lots of projects out there touting their "full HTCPCP compatibility" when all they do is serve 418 to every request; no actual coffeepots I could find last time I looked.
That's probably for the best. Nobody should be subjected to fox news, or contribute to their ad revenue.
Now tell me there was 12 monkeys in there
My monkey shipment!?!? There goes my weekend plans.
Calm down Dr. Evil
Listen, sometimes you need one hundred trillion dollars
I actually had this one on my 2025 bingo card.
what else is
Two dead presidents... Didn't say which countries tho.
Assuming each monkey only has one of those infections each they are probably lowering the population average for Mississippi.
And raising collective IQ
Honestly, I'd be pretty aggressive too if I had hepatitis, herpes, and COVID and was just involved in a crash.
They changed the article title but the URL still holds the goods.
You'll see this is the case everywhere if you keep an eye out. Fake news, and quiet editing after it circulates. Often on purpose. Like Dezi, the guy that shot cops raiding his house in Australia and went into hiding in the bush. All media outlets pushed stories that he sexually abused children, before removing all references to child sex abuse in later days after everyone had read the story. Likely to further remove any public support for the guy.
Right Wing conspiracy in 3... 2...
The crazy part is they were headed to Florida...
Which means despite all the existing infections, they were likely meant as a control group /s
Dang DEI woke monkeys carrying a fake china disease made in a laboratory
Thanks OBiden
Driver was drinking Tylenol.
At this point I'm just like, yeah, that may just as well happen.
yeah with the way things have been going this tracks.
First rule of 12 monkeys club is that you do not talk about 12 monkeys club
You beat me to it...
Dear God... Just why!?!
A friend of mine sent me the first screenshot and I thought the Facebook account had just been hacked.
The story has been updated with information from people who know what they're talking about (as opposed to the idiot sheriff who made that claim)
When air force 1 goes down:
I know they would just get in people's attics and cause mayhem, but Jesus fuck I've always wished the American southeast had wild monkeys I am rooting for the sole survivor